[Guest]

One night in my room in college, I started thinking about how unhappy my father was, and how I totally blamed myself for it. I cried and cried and it felt like deep emotions were finally being released: I was completely blaming myself and my mother for my father's depression. It's more complicated, but that's the jist.
The next day, I went home and noticed the piano in my house looked un-weird, and I saw my mother, and it was like I was recognizing her for the first time in YEARS! I went to the garden with her, and I told her how beautiful the flowers looked, and everything seemed to fit into place. LIVING made sense. For the first time in 7 years (I'm 19, BAD DP started at 12) I stopped feeling DP (well I had in the past but only briefly and not very truly). Oh my god it felt nice, life is so compassionate.
Anyways, this was the bringing forth of lost memories that triggered a small breakthrough, and I felt it. Life was back....for a while. With stress with school, and with social anxiety, it's come back. But I've made progress.
I'm going to enter psychoanalysis and try to re-live what I've buried. Because I want that feeling back. Life feels SOOO good.
Good luck to you all,
Alexis

 

[orangeaid]

well im glad you felt this way hopefully you can hold on to this feeling and not have to come back to here

Best of luck to you in the future.

 

[Guest]

It was good to read that post because it makes me remember how great it feels when I have one of those emotional releases followed by calm and clarity. Mine never last. They last up to two days and lately I never get that clear. When I try to duplicate it, it doesn't necessarily work. Your episode (and mine) certainly support the idea of trauma or anxiety causing the dp. I use an alternative therapy which seems to work to release blocked emotions and brings up memories all the way back to my birth. Sounds weird, but it's as normal as remembering how I felt at last year's Christmas dinner. Interesting how you felt guilty about something you did to someone you love and acknowledging it made you sad, then relieved. My stuff follows a very similar pattern.