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Oh, the irony!

2390 Views 18 Replies 6 Participants Last post by  ZiggomatiX
Ever notice how we all plowed through the internet thinking we had some disease- Hypoglycemia, Toxic Shock (yes I tried that one) (shut up), a brain tumor? And we try to make all the symptoms fit into that? As if we could come up with a tangible match?

But we're never sure if we have those diseases.

Yet when almost any of us got on this board, and saw the words depersonalization and derealization, we KNEW. we KNEW we had that.

Interesting huh?
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Maybe we WANT to be sick, so we can rest and be treated and cared for. Rather than completely NOT sick but feeling as if we were ill. who knows?
We want to be sick because we could not stand to face whatever truth we came across. Nope. Sick is better.
not necessarily.

but it has been for many people:

-a condition to hide behind when the reality of the world breaks through to you after years of thinking things were a different way, and you don't want to see it.

-a mind-made (not your fault, but your unconsciousness's) "excuse" to keep you from doing relatively harmless things (like trusting or talking to someone or asking for something from someone) because you feel that it would be something life threatening...maybe you were yelled at as a kid or had to do certain inappropriate things to maintain love and affection, so you start to feel that asking of people or trusting people could threaten you...and you get scared that yes other people are the things that can rip your life apart.

-a mask made from too many years of thinking what you're going to say or do before you say/do it (overanalysis)...instead of spontaneous actions and words you are so determined to never have bad things happen that you plan everything out...because you feel you couldn't survive those bad things again

Okay, don't make me go Dreamer on you and use the bold print.



Seriously. I mean that. The problem is we like to make that assumption because it's easier to DETACH ourselves from the situation and fix the brain physically like we would our car. Just a tweak here and a twist there and a snip there.


The conviction that there is something wrong with your brain is a FATAL ERROR. BAD BAD BAD.


It seems so small but those words say so much.

"I didn't do it. It was my brain. I didn't have any behaviors that led up to this. I don't have to change."

Well those things made you DP'd in the first place but now that we're all here and settled that is beyond the point. (and don't lament the days gone by and dont get angry at yourself saying 'if i hadn't have done that!'...believe me...if your beliefs and thought processes were misleading enough to eventually cause DP, you would have had SOMETHING not pretty happen to you anyway. Be it now or down the line. Be glad you had it all happen at once and you're with a good grouop of people rather than something slowly wasting away at you while you consume whiskey in a dark alley.)

What I'm saying is...

That is part of your faulty thinking. The conviction that your brain is broken. That very idea, that there is a physical manifestation of wrongness in your brain...well let me put it this way: you're going to be in dp-land a lot longer if you still try to convince yourself that you're brain damaged.

I know a guy who has done enough dextromethorphan to put all sorts of holes through his head, and he does not have DP. (or if he does he's certainly not complaining about it!)

No the engine is running fine you just have a smashed window.

Yes, something is wrong. Yes your brain and psyche are less than fabulous. Yes, you're not super thanks for asking. But you're still you and the chances of having a hole in your head are so incredibly tiny that you might as well start buying lottery tickets while you're at it. Evasive thinking htere.

I'm being harsh but I know that I have chased many wild dreams of having DP be something physically wrong and it wasted me a lot of money and got me to sign an embarassing contract, as well as a couple years of horrible pain that could have been faced more effectively.
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ok that post was WAY too Janine like and now i'm exhibiting a new DP symptom of morphing into other people :oops:

no, I, what it is is that you're uncovering the flaws in your old thinking habits. you may be forming more EFFECTIVE ways of thought as well but they're more in line with dealing with reality rather than trying to go against it.

Any drug's "high" is gone within a matter of hours. Gone. Absolutely gone. Physically impossible to stay longer.

Yes, you still FEEL it, but what it is is the FEAR that keeps feeding into whatever scared you about that "high" feeling in the first place.

Face it. Getting high is not just all laughs and fun. Sometimes it takes us to where we don't want to think, it maybe makes us a little out of control, and it magnifies poorly constructed thought processes and bad psychological defenses. And we get scared. Those are the things that really scare us and make us have that intense fear that feeds into a feeling of being high.

The drug is gone. Gone gone gone. The high scared you. And you're stuck in the fear.
and believe me I've done quite a few drugs to know 8)
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