[Kayyyynational7]

I had a fear for awhile that I'd completely lose it and just forget everything including who I am.

Well today I was sitting alone and randomly thought how weird it is that I'm existing and I'm a human.

I started to piece together every biological reason that we add humans are human and what makes us so different from animals.

I feel numb and scared and lost in not sure what to do all I can think is what if something is wrong with me what if I'm gonna flip out or lose it.

 

[Aridity]

Well first of all, you post ALOT! You ask so many questions you're obviously obsessed out of your mind. What you are feeling is all DP. Don't question the questions...

 

[Al_pk]

If you haven't gotten any peace of mind yet Kay I'm sorry there is very little we can do.

Many of us feel the same about these things. I question time, cosmic existentialism and death all day every day. It's my burden.

Aint never forgot who I was. Your fears will never materialise.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

Thank you they've helped me alot to I know I obsess I just can't seem to stop...

It's driving me insane

 

[Aridity]

Thank you they've helped me alot to I know I obsess I just can't seem to stop...

It's driving me insane

Are you still taking the Zoloft? If yes give it time, it could really help ease your mind and get out of the loop of questioning everything. Maybe this will help or maybe this will not help, I have been Depersonalized to be honest I think since I was a kid. But I have felt better, altough I am going through my worst episode now I still believe I can feel better again. Throughout the years... this shit disorder has shown itself in SO many ways, and I can truly say it's all anxiety/ocd/DP/DR. And almost never a physical thing (always test to rule it out) or something more serious like Schizophrenia. Please try to relax and take it day by day, you won't find any answers on here really. We can just show support and the feeling that we understand you. Stay strong.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

Thank you so much aridity that's all I really want is to know that as unnormal as this is that maybe it is normal if that makes any sense.

I am still on Zoloft I've only taken it for three days so far so I'm hoping it does help.

I know it's ridiculous that I keep looking for answers it just comforts new in a sense. I've been tested for every mental disorder and illness and have nothing other than severe anxiety.

Ive actually had friends ask why I almost seem upset that I don't have something more severe and I don't think it's that I'm upset that I don't have it im more upset that what I have I can't understand.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

Oh Lord lol I got screened a couple weeks ago and was diagnosed with depression and severe anxiety.

They actually said my depression came on because of my severe anxiety.I obsess over everything also so I'm sure that doesn't help

 

[Aridity]

Thank you so much aridity that's all I really want is to know that as unnormal as this is that maybe it is normal if that makes any sense.

I am still on Zoloft I've only taken it for three days so far so I'm hoping it does help.

I know it's ridiculous that I keep looking for answers it just comforts new in a sense. I've been tested for every mental disorder and illness and have nothing other than severe anxiety.

Ive actually had friends ask why I almost seem upset that I don't have something more severe and I don't think it's that I'm upset that I don't have it im more upset that what I have I can't understand.

What you're experiencing is VERY normal in the Depersonalization spectrum yes. Everything you say is what DP is. I hope this can break the loop.. if only for just a while. But if something new pops up.. try and come back to this thread or whatever just as a reminder. Or go for a walk.. try to take your mind elswhere.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

I definitely will thank you so much.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

I agree with the whole drug thing I got clean on my own cold turkey from pills and alcohol about 7 months ago maybe 8 and all doctors want to do is put me on all types of antidepressant that just make me numb.

I've been taking Zoloft recently prescribed I didn't take it this morning because I forgot but all day today I've felt like life I'm pointless.I feel like we're just here to die.

What bothers me is I didn't feel like that until the zoloft.Now I just don't care and see no point in why I'm even here.

 

[Al_pk]

That's not necessarily the zoloft Kay. What your thinking about is true and it has plagued me for years, to greater or lesser degrees.

The ancient anglo-saxons described life as an owl flying through a barn. It really is a blink and you miss it scenario and that has bothered people throughout history.

When this bothered me hard I came to the conclusion there was enough reason to exist in the small things. Coffee, sex, humour. The earth is our playground. But at the same time because of our developed brains we cannot totally shield ourselves from the ultimate futility of the whole thing.

It'll be okay. You're in good company.

Keep up with the zoloft

 

[Kayyyynational7]

Im keeping up with the Zoloft I did miss it today accidentally but will be taking it tomorrow morning.

I actually had a really rough day but actually cried and felt the emotion behind it so I'm helping that means the meds are helping me come back to myself even though I missed a dose.

 

[Al_pk]

Yeah it's really good for you to cry when you can

 

[LostVoid02]

Yes it scares me too i look at my family and i keep thinking to myself what if i forget who they are. It doesnt help that everything looks a bit distorted its freaky when you reconize your house but it doesnt feel like your house like you feel like you've stepped into a strangers home. My biggest fear is that I have dementia when I look at my families face its like I'm really looking at them for the first time I understand 100 percent what you mean.

 

[Kayyyynational7]

It's so annoying I just wish I could go back to the person I was before.

I'm now on Zoloft and feel sick all the time and it seems to have increased my panic attacks.

I've been told meds actually don't get rid of dpdr.that makes it even more frustrating in my opinion.If I could just wake up and feel better and be better it would be amazing.

 

[Al_pk]

It gave me nausea and panic attacks too Kay don't worry it's normal for the initial 8 weeks

What dose are you on? Doctors recommendations are sometimes excessive

If your dpdr is anxiety based like mine, over time it will help dpdr. It did with me

 

[Kayyyynational7]

I'm on 50 mg but right now they have me taking 25 mg.

And yes mine is anxiety related.

 

[Al_pk]

Oh ok. That's quite a good starting regime. Shouldn't have too many problems with that.

Then it can help. But you gotta do the lifestyle stuff too

 

[Kayyyynational7]

What lifestyle things??

 

[Al_pk]

You gotta try and live as normally as possible so your brain understands it's not in danger. For example i developed agorophobia so i forced myself to go out. Now I'm fine.

Also cutting out stimulants like sugar, caffeine and tobacco can help you level out.

8 hours sleep

Moderate exercise

It's really tough but the results speak for themselves.