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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Can someone give me some advice

I’ve been suffering for the 2nd time with dp/Dr + ocd this time, didn’t have it on the last dp episode.

I feel like i’m in a constant feed back loop with my OCD thoughts, anxiety and my dp/dr, it has all got way milder for a few months now, I was really fucked up last year so things have got better, but i just feel numb a lot with a blank mind and can’t stop being aware of the symptoms and can’t find the flow state with my anxious thoughts and dp when the thoughts arise, 50% of the time i’m worrying with thoughts the other 50% my mind feels blank.

This is my current situation, constantly everyday I have bursts into reality full connection, emotions the lot, old self is back pre anxiety and dp! these moments don’t last long, a few mins at most, I never had this experience in my first episode with dp, i just gradually came out of it to the point my symptoms no longer bothered me.

What i’m really struggling with is fear of my symptoms, since OCD came into play i haven’t been able to find that flow state with my symptoms, I accept, do my best not to fight it but i feel my anxiety just aggravates my dp and so forth.
anxiety arises making dp stronger which then numbs the anxiety and the release of the emotions that want to leave which then causes a feed back loop of thoughts and this feeling of non acceptance as nothing is being released properly, i just feel my symptoms are very up and down and what makes it hard is on a deep level i can’t find that acceptance in it, don’t get me wrong it’s way milder and i get moments of peace in the evenings but i’ve just become frustrated and depressed as I feel like my feelings are there but just constantly get cut off and i just can’t stop worrying about it all or feel at peace with it at least.

i imagine a lot of you with anxiety and dp experience this, id love to here your stories or from people who have recovered from anxiety and dp.

I hear a lot about anxiety going before dp does and my anxiety level has dropped but the thoughts are still obsessive and i can’t see them dying down unless i can release them which i can’t because of the dp/dr. 🤷‍♂️
 

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I so relate. The only advice and insight I have to offer is that the way out is not going to be achieved in the same thoughts which create the disorder. It’ll be like thinking on a hamster wheel. Because it’s a certain type of awareness/constant evaluation of checking on how you’re doing which makes you like this.

And not only have I had many disruptions of peace in the last 6 years, but it was way worse when it started. Like you, there’s a piece of our past which is remembered as hell. And what’s required is not a “hanging on” type of living. Going with the “flow” is tricky that way. You never get a grip on the flow, the flow gets a grip on you
 

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Discussion Starter · #3 ·
what’s frustrating is i feel ive reached a certain level with my dp where at times i feel like i did when i last recovered but with the anxiety on top now i can be pulled into outright panic for almost anything now, it’s confusing to feel in a way so close but so far like i can never recover at the same time, it’s got me so depressed
 

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what’s frustrating is i feel ive reached a certain level with my dp where at times i feel like i did when i last recovered but with the anxiety on top now i can be pulled into outright panic for almost anything now, it’s confusing to feel in a way so close but so far like i can never recover at the same time, it’s got me so depressed
I often feel like the difference for me between being recovered and not being is a super small crack that I can cross.. unintentionally
 

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Talking about the OCD - DP connection, when my depersonalization started out of nowhere, I slowly developed OCD symptoms which are still pretty hard to cope with, but they help easing all that horribleness of DP.
I don't really understand how it works but I suspect the same nerve pathways or receptors or idk might be affected in both disorders...?
 
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