[Guest]

Yesterday, I had gone shopping with my mom and daughter. The entire time I was there, I had to keep reassuring myself that yes in fact I am truly there. Where the hell do these crazy thoughts come from. The thought of even being real can scare the living day lights out of me on somedays. Is this truly DP/DR. Is the way a lot of you guys think and feel. Any response is truly appreciated.
Kate

 

[Scattered]

This is the way I feel today. I've been "normal" for a few days and now, all of a sudden, I don't exist. Where am I? Why am I? How am I? The same ridiculous questions take a hold of me and I don't know what the fuck to do. I don't know anyone, in my life, that TRULY understands this. I don't understand this. I feel so ashamed for the things I did and shouldn't have done as well of the things I didn't do but should have participated in.

I chose to relinquish my life so I could be a spectator. I chose to create in myself a false sense of superiority so I wouldn't have to deal with people. Now all I want is one person to walk up to me and understand. I want some sort of guarantee that this is not going to last. I want to feel real and connected to my emotions and memories.

 

[Guest]

You know what scattered. If I could walk up to you right now, I would. Because I have never felt something that has made me feel so alone and screwed up in my life. Plain and simple this sucks!!!!!!!
Kate

 

[Ben]

Just keep telling yourself the old idea: "I think, therefore I am". It's really the best way to combat this - you are because you think, and that's about it.

What's "not there" isn't you - but the old way you felt when going about your business - you tied a lot to that original feeling and now it's gone/distanced/different and you have to deal with it as it's reality. You think - therefore you are; it doesn't really get much more basic than that.

 

[kchendrix]

Hey , don't be ashamed ,, or anything like that, but you know the fact that you FEEL ashamed or guilty or whatever.. tells you that this is reality.

I get going in circles on the questioning and self monitoring and the fear that the next breath may be the last in the real world, but you know what , it never happens, psychosis never comes, I don't completely disappear , The fear is the thing keeping us locked in. The likely hood of any of us going "CRAZY" or "Psychotic" Or Disappearing from reality is almost non existant. What risk our we willing to live with. I could go the Shrink every day and have him tell me I'm fine and that I would believe for about 3 to 4 hours and then I am right back.

But don't beat yourself up... Try to live for this moment. I keep saying hey if I was to go crazy can worrying about it stop it, IF I am not real , I can sure have a good time some how..

I want that connection back too and I believe it will come... There must be some issues yet for me to work out. But it will come.

Hang in there people, it will get better....

 

[Sojourner]

My opinion, WhereamI: Your body or your mind is using these feelings to escape something. I think it's a form of anxiety.

There really aren't clean lines between many of these illnesses. The one line that's important is neurotic/psychotic, I've been told.

Find out what you are running from.

Forgive me for offering my advice in a way that may sound like I know everything! I do know that anxiety is the body's response to something the mind is afraid of.

Let whatever's bugging you bubble up to the surface and deal with it both consciously and unconsciously.

 

[Scattered]

I don't understand how I can go from having very mild DP to all of a sudden having an episode that puts me more at a moderate to severe level of DP. I felt normal for weeks, I have one bad night and episode of DP and all of a sudden I'm sort of stuck feeling like I don't exist.

My anxiety has been fairly low also and now because DP is more at a constant level I feel a sense of being one edge all the time. Last night I broke down and just started crying. I felt so disconnected from myself and my environment and so completely scared that all I could do was sit down and sob. I do have an unreasonable fear of psychosis. However, even if that possibility is extremely remote, the state I am in now is no way to live. I fear that if I stay this way too long I'll never be able to get back to how I was before. A mild level of DP is fine with me, but constant self monitoring and obsessing over my psychological states is getting to be very scary.