[Mipmunk]

Sojourner said I have to let my feelings out for the DP to lift. Well the trauma of my cat being ill and dying caused by DP to click on. I am long over the death of my cat, I really am, it feels like she has been gone a long time. But the DP still remains with me. I have tried not to focus on it, but I feel wrong, I don't feel right even if I ignore it. I don't have my proper identity so therefore no matter what I do I feel foreign and wrong. This causes me anxiety because I don't feel right. Not feeling mentally well and like what I should do, gives me the anxiety. The DP switch should have clicked off by now, it has no reason to be here anymore. I am not grieving for my cat anymore, there is no reason for the DP to still be with me.

I felt disheartened because for the first time in 4 months, last night I feel quite normal and I really went to bed positive thinking I would be even better in the morning, I felt happy. But when I woke up the feeling had gone and I was DP'd again.

It seems to be taking a depressive cycle, more DP'd during the day and when I get home I feel a bit more like me and better in the evening.

I just don't understand how last night I did feel quite normal and reallly thought the DP was on its way out??

Janine/Sojourner - any ideas on why it gave me one night of feeling quite normal and then by the morning gone again.

I have tried everything to ignore it, read, play music, have a shower, but it doesn't change the feeling of not "feeling connected and not feeling I have my full identity back".

Any ideas would really be appreciated.

Mip
x :?

 

[Guest]

you must put back into conscious memory the series of events and how each event made you feel.

remember the feeling, and most importantly just stop thinking about DP/DR.

I wouldnt be suprised that fear of DP itself causes more DP

 

[Mipmunk]

and do you think that will help me connect with myself again and get me my identity back?

Mip
x

 

[Guest]

of course.... its already stuff you know, you just forgot you know it.

read every google page you can about dissociative disorders

 

[Monkeydust]

I disagree with most of that.

Read as much as you can about dissociative disorders only insofar as it directly helps you in you're recovery by offering practical and realistic advice. If you're doing it just because you "have" to know every little aspect of the problem, if you're doing it because you might stumble across the "answer to it all", you're getting nowhere.

With regards to issues of identity, you don't get it back by searching for it or thinking constantly "is this my identity?", "is it back yet" and the like. in fact, I'm hesitant to even use the term "get it back" at all. It's always there, it just returns to you fully when you stop thinking about it and push yourself out into doing and responding to things in your life. Once you get "in the flow of things" again it should come back well enough.

This sounds harsh, but part of me is saying that you're approaching the matter in the wrong way. What I mean by that is that you often come on saying "I'm doing such and such, but it's not working", or "I'm feeling a little better, but this aspect of the disorder is still there" - stuff like that. Now there's nothing wrong with doing this, but the point is that it's clear you're still very attuned to how you're feeling and whether it's "good" or "bad" and why. The key to recovery is to stop this self-monitoring, and press on while ignoring how bad it is altogether.

Hope recovery continues for you,
MonkeyD

 

[Guest]

no, its not "is this my identity" and more of remembering whats makes you who you are