Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 2 of 2 Posts

·
Registered
Joined
·
3 Posts
Hi there, community.
So I'm a 16 year old boy from Austria and I'm just learning English so please don't answer with comments on my grammar. So I had an lsd trip in June 2014 (yes I was 15) and it was kinda terrible. The first 1 1/2 hours I was comfortable and the visual effects were fine too, I was freaking out of excitement. But after I smoked a joint it got worse (not the visuals but I started feeling like I'm going crazy) I said to myself it was going to be ok and it'll be over soon but it took forever. It was a sunny day and I laid on that (I don't know what it's called in English it's that ground with grass on it) from 14 to 20 o clock. When the bad thoughts came I forced myself to sleep so it would get over. I don't know if I slept or not but after the sun went down it got easier. My head felt like it was kinda empty though. I didn't care of anything going on, I just smiled like 3 hours or so (I was talking to some friend though) when I was walking along a river.

Silvester I had to go to the hospital because I lost my left thumb (I was lucky and got it back on but I can not move it like I can move my right one) I had to stop smoking because my thumb wouldn't recover if I smoked so I completely stopped for like 6 weeks. After the hospital I got my first panic attack I ever had. I didn't know it was a panic attack when I had it, so I couldn't do anything against it. I was feeling like I'm about to go crazy. When it was over I did research for that (I'm doing it till today) after I knew that I was experiencing a panic attack I knew how I can lower the feelings when having one. (Since the panic attacks started, I didn't take any kind of drugs except weed) i got panic frequently (1 or 2 times in 3 days) and I was always watching myself, asking myself questions like: am I breathing?

So this summer I haven't had a single panic attack anymore but I was nearly everyday feeling weird and uncomfortable, but just when I wasn't doing anything or when I was watching TV. So yesterday I haven't slept at night and I got panic again while watching 2 and a half men, but not like the times before, it was... different. I can't describe how it was different though. So I slept an hour and woke up again.

I'm feeling like I'm getting shizophrenia but I know I'm not. Im asking myself: are my friends noticing that? Being really sure they are, but they aren't. I know anything that's going on is just in my head and most of the things wouldn't even be there if I wasn't always thinking about them.

So I read a few threads here and 90% of what's going on here I can relate to. The last thing I want to say is that I know my age, I know how dangerous lsd in this age is and I don't want to get comments like: dude it's your own fault and what were you thinking of doing that at this age. Just for you to understand me better, I was always older then my personal ID told everyone. My parents knew my teachers knew and I was always having friends 3 years older than me cause kids my age were just annoying. All of my friends are 2 years or more older than me and my girlfriend is 4 years older.

Ty for taking the time reading this, and I hope you can tell me what's wrong with me and how I can get back to a normal, not scared life again
 

·
Registered
Joined
·
57 Posts
Ok, I'm gonna reply in German for reasons of better understanding , which I hope is ok, if any mods read this. I can translate it if necessary.
You said you're from Austria, so I assume that German is your first language.

Also, ich würde mal schätzen, das LSD war der Ausgangspunkt für dein Dilemma. An sich ist das aber egal, da Du im Endeffekt mit den selben Problemen kämpfst, wie jemand, der einfach nur so oder durch Angststörungen etc. DP bekommen hat. Bzw. hast Du eine Panikstörung durch LSD und /oder Gras bekommen. Ich muss Dir also leider raten nichts mehr zu konsumieren, weder hart noch weich. (Abgesehen von Alkohol und Tabak)
Du hast nicht unbedingt sehr detailliert beschrieben, wie Du Dich momentan fühlst, aber wenn Du Dich mit 90% aller Beiträge hier identifizieren kannst, dann würde ich mal sagen, da liegt DP recht nahe. An sich kannst Du, meiner Erfahrung nach, nicht viel machen außer es zu ignorieren. Leb weiter, tu so als wäre nichts. Ich glaube, die Depersonalisierung ist ein Schutzmechanismus Deines Körpers, um Dich vor Panikattacken zu schützen. Deine Emotionen, Gefühle, alles wird "weggesperrt", damit die Angst Dir nicht noch mehr zu schaffen macht. Ein unausgereiftes System. Mach einfach mit, lass Deinen Körper machen.

Du wirst wahrscheinlich nicht schizophren. Die Symptome dafür sind etwas heftiger. Aber, wie gesagt, ich weiß nicht genau, wie Du Dich fühlst, von daher kann ich deine aktuelle Situation nicht so genau einschätzen. Ich würde mir allerdings keine Sorgen deswegen machen.

Wenn es gut läuft könntest Du in ein paar Tagen schon wieder "normal" sein, oder es läuft wie bei mir und Du musst einen etwa halbjährigen Selbstfindungsprozess durchleben, bis Du wieder da bist. Aber es ist definitiv heilbar.

Du kannst mir gerne eine Nachricht schreiben, falls Du konkretere Fragen hast oder einfach jemanden zum drüber Reden brauchst.

Mach Dir nur keine Sorgen, alles wird gut. :)
 
1 - 2 of 2 Posts
Top