[DarkHunter]

Good day to everybody. I have 38 years and my subjective thinking is that i dont feel life like before. I mean like i am on automatic pilot

just doing my to-do list,family,working,earning good but not enjoying in little things.Most of the time i feel too much introspective without mindfulness and sensing life,wind ,rain. Everything that i do is planned without any spontaneous thing. Is this normal thing as we get older to pay less and less attention to things we already know? Is it lack of some neurotransmitter like norepinerfine? I sure feel kind of derealization like life is more syntethic without flavour.

 

[RunToMe]

Do you feel a change when you are on vacation and have nothing to do and time to relax ?

 

[DarkHunter]

No,even on vacation i wake up like 6 in morning with nothing to do. I feel guilty if i am not doing something productive. Small talk with friends i find extremly boring if is not constructive talk with some goal or new informations. What i mean sometimes i feel my head like in some bubble with senses disconnected. And sometimes like being wake up a little by bad weather for example rain falls like smell of rain or when is cold i feel more alive. I miss more of this alive moments.

 

[RunToMe]

You are in your busy Modus i think and it maybe needs more time to change that modus. I know that busy modus and it helped me to went abroad and go in nature to get in the relaxed (default Mode network) to feel nearly to you and then your soul opens to get sensitive to outside stimulis. Maybe you can afford to have a longer break and not being goal focused...