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I did make a therapy appointment for this Friday. We talked on the phone half hour last Friday. I told her how bad panic has come back up in my life and the associated stuff--DP--whichever feeds which one, I don't know or care, haa..Told her I had increase of Klonopin from psychiatrist late July. It helps me at least get thru the day with some semblance of functioning. I manage to do the necessary, let's put it that way. At least most days.
I asked when I was in last and she looked it up--October of 2003. Well we have talked prolly 5 times or 4 times on phone since then. I've had her as a therapist since October of 1994. I thought it was 1998 but it has been 11 years almost, Wow.
Anyway I asked what kind of therapy we do and she says if pushed to call it a "type" it is insight-directed--psychoanalytical
Anyway I'm (of course!!!) scared to see her this Friday face to face. I already feel flight/fight when I think of it so I am trying to not think of it yet. Just one more place I feel not in control.
My emotions, Wow, I sure give alotta power to them. I guess it is b/cuz I have felt overwhelmed by them time and again. Anyway thats my update about what I made a plan to do..go see and talk to her and--I know one session isnt gonna fix anything so I'll have to tell her, well ten dollars a month per usual on the old bill and nothing on the new one we are making now I guess!!!
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