The grass is always greener on the otherside lol.. I remember before DP/DR I felt things so strongly that I wish I could just turn my emotions off, I also kind of viewed them as hindrances and a weakness. Doesn't seem like a coincedence shortly after I developed DP, I found a general apathy for everything. It is what it is, no point in making myself upset over that but I realize both have their pros and cons although emotional numbness in itself is a very frustrating and bleak feeling. Anyways, you can't force yourself to care.. just because you feel you should/shouldn't doesn't mean you do. Acceptance man.. it gets better..