Hallo Kate and Brain Silence
Thanks for your posts - it does reassure me somehow that others do know what I am talking about. Yes I know what you mean Brain about losing motivation and getting stuck, I have to battle with myself to complete a task, it all seems too much, like you can't frame all the thinking needed to do it, like there is a lock on your head in some way. I often grind to a halt with things. Kate, your expression 'dp at its finest' made me smile, made it sound like a very good wine! And mine is a very good vintage indeed. Am now 41 started when I was ten....have been in it for the majority of the intervening thirty years - but probably not more than 60 or 70% of the time. I have been hospitalised, have tried to kill myself several times over - I have found that it ( if it is an it) has rendered me so non-functional that I have not wanted to go on. Its a horrible feeling of disconnected in ability to think or feel or react. I have it today, a friend has just come round for lunch, this should be a pleasurable experience but it isn't because the head is frozen and it all feels very difficult to talk coherently, prepare the food, respond to my surroundings.....grrrrrrrrrrrrr........aaaaaaaaaah.........why I am like this and cannot get re-connected I don't know, mine will tend to lift quite suddenly after several weeks or months.....and its only then really that I can see what a Hell it has been, because like Brain and many other people on the boards, I feel like I am making it up. Yuk, yuk, yuk. Still, we must all keep going.......bon courage a vous et tous les autres. Sarah x
