[Guest]

Hi friends,

Just wondering if any of you feel strange about normal every day stuff like eating, taking a shower, getting dressed, etc. I know it's part of the obsessive nature, but I can't feel like I did before about these things so they feel strange to me. I used to love eating out, and trying new foods, but now eating seems weird at times. I think about how I have to do it to stay alive, but i don't feel the enjoyment. Same with taking showers. I used to love to relax and unwind in a hot shower/bath and now it just feels like something I do just because we have to. Getting dressed/ready for the day feels strange... hell everything feels strange. I don't know how I manage to keep going and doing these things.. talking, communicating, reacting to life. It just feels so surreal. Everything.

 

[shadowness]

i know what you mean...

i was freaked out by waking up this morning...and then when i got out of bed to go to the bathroom....i felt like i was in a dream and that everything was so strange...

getting dressed and putting on my make up felt so odd as it did not feel like me doing it...

at the moment i feel so sick that i cannot eat much...but that is ok as eating feels so strange i just do it to get it over and done with...

everything just feels so odd....

and because everything feels so odd i cannot stop thinking about it....

and because i cannot stop thinking about it...that is all that is on my mind all day everyday...

which makes life even more odd!

we seem to be going round and round in circles...

 

[dreamcatcher]

i hate getting out of bed......

i drag myself into the bath, question everything from how do i know the waters not to hot.......to oh is this my bathroom.....

......go upstairs open wardrobe see hands enter the wadrobe try to work out why i have to put clothes on this shell i am dragging about at the moment.....

.......when dinner time comes cooking is hell, i have to cook for 8 and sometimes its like why am i cooking nothings real.......

.....eating, i eat really quickly at the moment just to get it over with......no we have to eat to survive but whos telling me how to do any of this......

everything is so hard, its like been reborn into a strange place everyday... a surprise and for some reason not a very pleasant one.....

......i use to enjoy life, i know i did, i just wish i could get some sparkle back,or beable to put up a good front that could knock this down,life is for living......but this is not living its existing.....and they are definetly not the same thing

 

[Guest]

Heh, i hate eating out. Mostly because eating out usually involves human interaction. Being around idiots (pretty much everyone) is a big downer. Its all take out and delivery for me.

I still love taking showers though. I get some great positive meditation in there during one of my introspective 30 minute showers. Then blast the cold water as a reminder that i'm a fucking tard and I need to get my shit together fot the day.