Thanks to this site I have finally discovered after 40yrs I am not alone. I slipped into a dream-like state in the school playground aged 13yrs.I remember the very moment. Suddenly something had happend to me,I didn't understand what- only that I felt I was no longer truly WITH my friends & my surroundings felt very strange.
I didnt know who I was anymore or where I was. When I thought about my parents I was aware that I felt a kind of detachment from them. That scared me a lot. I always loved them so much and now I felt it hard to feel that real love and closeness with them. Since that day I never came back to being real again. After a few weeks I plucked up the courage to see my doctor to tell him my feelings of not being ALL THERE any more. What a mistake. He told me not to be so silly and more or less threw me out of the surgery. It still makes me cringe when I think of that. I felt so ashamed of myself for being so SILLY. I thought I would never be able to face that doctor again!As the years have gone by I have brought the subject up again with different doctors (while collecting various prescriptions for anxiety /depression ect). Although they havent been so unkind with their response and they accept anxious people can suffer episodes of unreality they never have any answers for me when I tell them I have for years lived permanently in a state of unrealiy which I now know as depersonalization disorder. When I go out in social settings with my husband I find I have to make an effort to look normal and the same as every-one else, then worry that people have seen through my ACT and realize theres something strange about me. I really want this disorder to get more general recognition so that at the very least sufferers will find it easy to be able to discuss their problem without shame.
Darsan-new member. :roll:
I didnt know who I was anymore or where I was. When I thought about my parents I was aware that I felt a kind of detachment from them. That scared me a lot. I always loved them so much and now I felt it hard to feel that real love and closeness with them. Since that day I never came back to being real again. After a few weeks I plucked up the courage to see my doctor to tell him my feelings of not being ALL THERE any more. What a mistake. He told me not to be so silly and more or less threw me out of the surgery. It still makes me cringe when I think of that. I felt so ashamed of myself for being so SILLY. I thought I would never be able to face that doctor again!As the years have gone by I have brought the subject up again with different doctors (while collecting various prescriptions for anxiety /depression ect). Although they havent been so unkind with their response and they accept anxious people can suffer episodes of unreality they never have any answers for me when I tell them I have for years lived permanently in a state of unrealiy which I now know as depersonalization disorder. When I go out in social settings with my husband I find I have to make an effort to look normal and the same as every-one else, then worry that people have seen through my ACT and realize theres something strange about me. I really want this disorder to get more general recognition so that at the very least sufferers will find it easy to be able to discuss their problem without shame.
Darsan-new member. :roll:
