[Guest]

This sucks more than anything that has ever sucked before. And it is so wrong in so many ways! Do you also have that feeling that DP/DR is the equivalent of loneliness? It?s the most lonesome sickness/disorder/handicap I can imagine.

It feels like I?m stuck in my own head, imprissoned. I can try to live with it, to cope, but I don?t go anywhere. I am still in this prison ? the only thing I can do is to make myself more comfortable there.

And it?s almost impossible to explain this condition to ?normal? people around. You can come with so many explanations (like ?everything is behind a glass wall? or ?I?m turned down from Volume MAX to Volume MIN?) and still you know, they just can?t understand.

But there are people whom you actually don?t want to understand. I don?t want my employer to know about this (because if you have flu, bad knees or even a cancer, you still belong to ?the society?, but if you are mentally ill or disordered, no one would even touch you). But what?s more important, I don?t want my family to fully understand what I?m going through. I don?t want them to understand even a bit of this pain, this suffering. So I act, and I?m trying real hard to act, as everything was just as OK as possible.

I suppose I am not alone in this stage play ? do you also feel like a full-time-oscar-nominee?

 

[Scattered]

Not in the same sense as you describe. I feel like an actor because I have a hard time accepting consensus reality. Since I can't totally accept reality for what it is I feel as if I'm playing a part in a movie or some drama that has either been scripted or sort of organically occurs but is not completely solid.

 

[bat]

hi dark

i really do understand

 

[andymania]

Dark,

I totally understand as well. How come you dont want to discuss this with your family. I think it would be an important step.

 

[Sojourner]

And it?s almost impossible to explain this condition to ?normal? people around. You can come with so many explanations (like ?everything is behind a glass wall? or ?I?m turned down from Volume MAX to Volume MIN?) and still you know, they just can?t understand.

Claire Weekes talks about this in her book. She says it's a well-known part of nervous illness -- the "vision thing." I am re-reading the book now.

 

[Guest]

I totally understand as well. How come you dont want to discuss this with your family. I think it would be an important step.

I didn?t want to say I don?t discuss it with my family. My family is the best help I can get. What I mean is - I don?t want my family to fully understand what?s going on with me. I just don?t want to hurt them, so I am trying to appear better than I feel and don?t explain all the symptoms.

Claire Weekes talks about this in her book. She says it's a well-known part of nervous illness -- the "vision thing." I am re-reading the book now.

Is that a book about DP? How is it called?

 

[widescreened]

You should include your family.The degree to the details you go into in describing your symptoms is another issue.You have to remember that dp/dr is a symptom of a depressive mindset. Many people talk about neurological imballances etc but the vast majority of us,even those with drug enduced dp were harbouring depressive issues.Tell your folks you are depressed.It will take a huge amount of pressure off yourself.Dont use your illness to manipulate sympathy,as many people end up doing.Rather use the new situation as a new beginning;being honest about your feelings and less of an actor.