[w_connelly]

I think nightime is definitly the worst for me. Ive sufferd with DP for just over a year and its there 24/7. However I have came to realise that when for instance i'm sat outside the pub with my mates, il suddenly realise that I had forgot about it, and it may not have been there. However as soon as I realise it will come back 10 fold. I do think its just a case of just forgetting about this. Easier said than done I know i've tried for a year, but i'm guessing the case is not trying, if you get me.

Sometimes after i've had a silly little argument with my gf, i'll think oh for f*ck sake I feel really ill now, and I will think bout DP more. However no matter how I think or feel or try to forget, the feeling is ALWAYS there at night time. I'll be drifting off to sleep and i'll suddenly realise I feel really weird and that I might not wake up if I drift off. I know thats weird but thats my main problem.

I suppose i'm not scared of DP but i'm scared of dying. I know this sounds morbid and i'm sorry but sometimes I find it difficult to get excited about things for the future because I keep thinking if I feel this weird whats to say my brain wont just malfunction or summit and kill me.

I am a very happy person, and shouldn't be feeling this way. I do feel I am on the path to recovery, I just need to stop thinking it's going to kill me, when it most likely couldn't. Thankyou for reading, this place has saw me through my worst times over the year!

 

[danilee]

This just goes to show ya that everyones DP + DR are all different, yet the same.

Mine is worse when I first wake up. Im like "wow, here we go again, still here". and all the questions rise.

Also, in bright sunshine around 4 pm at my house in Texas, i feel icky something about the lighting, i hate.
take care
dani