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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
hello

oh my, where do i start?

its been such a long journey from when all this started.

I got ill in November 2003. I was a normal 21 year old young man - felt great - just graduated university and got a job.

At the time i smoked a bit of cannabis every now and again, but once i had a bad experience from it. I was on my way home from a night out - and in the back of a taxi which locks the doors until you pay the driver. On the way home i got a sudden urge/feeling that i HAD to get out of the car, my heart rate increased and i got extremely anxious and panicky. I asked the taxi man to pull over, but he wouldnt, so that made me worst and i started banging on the glass and shouting until he let me out. Once i got out i felt ok, but i was still very anxious as i didnt like the feeling that the drug was causing. I was literally shaking, my head was spinning and i felt out of contorl. After a good sleep, the next day i felt fine.

Then i was driving to work one day on the busy motorway (about a month later) and WHAM, i almost blacked out. I couldnt see, or hear anything. It was like i was whacked on the head with a hammer - that feeling lasted a few seconds so I managed to pull over on the motorway, but everytime i tried to carry on the feeling would slowly creep upon me again. I had to stop and ring my Dad to pick me up. On top of the feeling of being dizzy/spaced out i was extrmemely anxious. After i got home i started to feel ok again. Over the weekend i felt OK - i played football during the day and then at night i was very ill - i was totally exhausted. In the morning i felt ok, and so went to work. I got there OK, but once i started work on the computer i started to get the mental feelings coming back again - dizzy/spaced out and i also felt weak / fatigued and a bit nauscious (spellling!?!?). I went home and for 2 weeks i was in bed. I couldnt move, i couldnt get out of the bed to use the toilet. My head was spinning, i couldnt see properly, i had very bad headache, tingling in my head, floaters in my eyes, my heart rate was flying, exhaustion, fatigue, very sore eyes, could hardly talk, i couldnt concentrate at all - i felt like i was in a dream.

I started to get a little better after a month.

I had blood tests, MRI brain scan, balance tests - all normal

So i battled on - doing what i could - which wasnt very much. The neurologist said that i should now try to build myself up (as they said i had a vrius) and get my life back on track. I tried this but i just couldnt. I was left with the following symptoms:

Headaches everyday
Extreme fatigue
Inability to concentrate on the simplest of tasks eg reading
Confusion
Poor memory
Sore muscles
Sensitive to light
Dizziness
Balance Problems
Anxiety
Spaced out / brain fog / detached from everything feeling
Extreme anxiety and brain fog when i have to concentrate hard e.g when in a pub and people are talking to me, i just cant concentrate on what is going on - its so hard to explain. I feel like my body is just reacting to people around me out of instinct, yet my mind is thinking what the hell is going on here - what is he saying to me. Why am i finding it so hard to concentrate.

When the docs didnt find anything i was told i had Chronic fatigue syndrome/M.E. I tried graded exercise, gluten free diets - everything - nothing works.

I noticed that going out to places that made my symptoms increase made me feel anxious. For example i would find going into shops/busy pubs very difficult due to the fatigue and dizziness/feeling spaced out. I would then start to get anxious and leave because of these feelings. That lead to me avoiding those situations from then on.

I also noticed that i had insomnia (only lasted a month), night sweats, waking up feeling like i had ran a marathon. I also had very bad dreams.

Now, 22 months later i have got better (mentally and pyhsically) but its just sooooo slow. I had good and bad days.

I have had problems with my stomach too - pain when eating, bloating, wind. I had tests and they said that i have too much acid in my stomach, and that its inflamed - but they dont know why i have too much acid in my stomach.

Now the depression has slowly crept its way in, and i have been having disturbing feelings for months and months now. The spaced out feeling has lead to other feelings too. I feel this way most of the time:

-like i am just in a dream
-like im just a voice/thought in my body
-that things (environment/people) around me dont really exist
-detached from the world around me
-i look at people (friends/family) and see them as just 'human beings' and not how i used to see them ( i never used to think anything about it - my mum was my mum, and that was it- i didnt think any further) - if that makes sense
-that when we die there is nothing - this scares me a lot
- i dont feel like the old me, its like i changed in so many ways

these thoughts make me depressed and anxious, and i dont know how to deal with them. I just put them to the back of my mind. I have had CBT for anxiety - but it didnt do much, infact it did nothing.

I find it hard to exercise too - it makes me so tired and makes the detached feeling worst. I get extreme exhaustion from doing too much. I cant work either.

I have noticed that if i am rushing around to be somewhere on time / or if i get worked up/frustrated the detached feeling gets worst too and i get anxious for no reason. I just have to sit and breathe deeply and close my eyes to relax. I was sat in my friends house last night, and they had loud music on and lots of people were talking. The CD started skipping and it started to annoy me, and then i got that axnoius feeling that i needed to just get out of the room ASAP otherwise i wsa going to have a panic attack.

I hope i have explained this well enough - i would really appreciate any help/guidance on what to do next if you think i do suffer from DP/DR.

PS my friend who also smoked the same cannabis as me has been suffering from the same symptoms as me - except he now feels a lot better and never has the DP thoughts i do. He complains of feeling spaced out but thats about it.

PS my fathers friend told me he had chronic fatigue syndrome (CFS), and he had moments (like me) of feeling detached etc. He recoverd after 4 years, and he seems to think that DP/DR is all part or a symptom of CFS. I dont know what to believe - do i just have DP/DR, or do i have CFS and suffer DP/DR as part of it?

PS i am not taking any medication at the moment.

please help, J[/list]
 

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Did these feelings go away with time?:

Headaches everyday
Extreme fatigue
Inability to concentrate on the simplest of tasks eg reading
Confusion
Poor memory
Sore muscles
Sensitive to light
Dizziness
Balance Problems
Anxiety
Spaced out / brain fog / detached from everything feeling

This seems kinda like what I am going through, I had it for three months. I am not really sure if it is DP/DR or if its more so the anxiety.
 

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jpmad4it the first symptoms you listed sounded kind of like really bad migraines..i use to think migraines were just headaches but they can cause all of what you listed. look up info on migraines..theres alot of different types.

also it sounds like you have some type of anxiety. and when you said when you went out to public places it made your symptoms worse, that sounds like anxiety and or agoraphobia(fear of going to places that make you feel uncomfortable or where you start to panic, which gets so bad that the person never leaves their house)

it also could be something as simple as needing to take vitamins or just eatting the right foods

the last list of symptoms sound like bad anxiety, i suffer from mostly all of the stuff you listed and its nice to know im not the only one feeling this way. it seems most people with anxiety or dp/dr just think way too much about certain things and that adds to really bad anxiety. just remember try not to diagnose yourself over the internet because it can make you get yourself worked up and youll feel even worse.

just take it one day at a time and i know its hard but try to enjoy life as much as possible.

i think you should get a second opinion from another doctor because i bet they might find somthing. also talk to a psychiatrist, they are very smart. im goin to a psychiatrist because they still dotn know what is wrong with me, but i think its just lack of sleep and high anxiety.

good luck!

oh yeah what is CBT?
 

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I seem to have most of those symptoms that you had first, the headache slowness, spaced out, memory. I do get a lot of sharp pains my head during the day, I think it is something in my brain changing like chemically. But that is stupid, of course that is not causing my pains. I do have a constant headache and I wonder if it is due to anxiety.

I also looked up on web md real quick what are some side effects of depression:

Headaches. These are fairly common in people with depression. If you already had migraine headaches, they may become worse if you're depressed.

Dizziness or lightheadedness.

Everyone knows what the symptoms of depressiond are, but I never knew it had a tull on your equilibrium and your head, it thought it was moreless purely emotional.

btw are migraines only really bad headaches, ones that are crippling? or are there like suddle migraines, ones that cause unplesent side effects as those listed but not incrediable pain? Like when I think of migraine I think of just pure pain.
 
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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
orangeaid said:
Did these feelings go away with time?:

Headaches everyday
Extreme fatigue
Inability to concentrate on the simplest of tasks eg reading
Confusion
Poor memory
Sore muscles
Sensitive to light
Dizziness
Balance Problems
Anxiety
Spaced out / brain fog / detached from everything feeling

This seems kinda like what I am going through, I had it for three months. I am not really sure if it is DP/DR or if its more so the anxiety.
they seem to be getting better overall, but i can still have a bad day. Doing mental or physical activity makes my symptoms worst.
 
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Discussion Starter · #7 ·
RedCaineForNova said:
jpmad4it the first symptoms you listed sounded kind of like really bad migraines..i use to think migraines were just headaches but they can cause all of what you listed. look up info on migraines..theres alot of different types.

also it sounds like you have some type of anxiety. and when you said when you went out to public places it made your symptoms worse, that sounds like anxiety and or agoraphobia(fear of going to places that make you feel uncomfortable or where you start to panic, which gets so bad that the person never leaves their house)

it also could be something as simple as needing to take vitamins or just eatting the right foods

the last list of symptoms sound like bad anxiety, i suffer from mostly all of the stuff you listed and its nice to know im not the only one feeling this way. it seems most people with anxiety or dp/dr just think way too much about certain things and that adds to really bad anxiety. just remember try not to diagnose yourself over the internet because it can make you get yourself worked up and youll feel even worse.

just take it one day at a time and i know its hard but try to enjoy life as much as possible.

i think you should get a second opinion from another doctor because i bet they might find somthing. also talk to a psychiatrist, they are very smart. im goin to a psychiatrist because they still dotn know what is wrong with me, but i think its just lack of sleep and high anxiety.

good luck!

oh yeah what is CBT?
CBT=Cognitive behavioural therapy

im definatley not agrophobic - i WANT to go places its just i get an increase in my symptoms when i try to do things -( mental and physical). I keep trying to go places and get on with stuff but it keeps knocking me down
 

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It sounds very much like DP and/or DR. It could be a few other things of course, but certain symptoms there struck a chord with me that makes me think it's not something physiological (such as epilepsy).

If you feel you need to, or if you want peace of mind, visit a Doctor for a physical and a psychiatrist to confirm if it is DR/DR.

Oh and a note on this...

im definatley not agrophobic - i WANT to go places its just i get an increase in my symptoms when i try to do things -( mental and physical). I keep trying to go places and get on with stuff but it keeps knocking me down
Be careful with the definition of agoraphobia there. Agoraphobia's not simply "fear of going out"; it's more "fear of symptoms" - usually panic attacks but also severe DP/DR - which manifests as the former because symptoms come on when you go out.

As for general advice, there's not much I can offer that hasn't been said elsewhere. Have a useful invaluable information around.
 
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Discussion Starter · #9 ·
what i want to know is - can DP/DR create symptoms like

headches, dizziness, physical muscle pain/fatigue, very low stamina, concentration problems - not just the mental ones the physical ones too?

what should i say to my doctor? he will just send me away and disagree with anything i have to say like usual.

last time i waited a year to see a CBT therpaist on the NHS, how long am i going to have to wait again to see a shrink?? Another year?
 
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Discussion Starter · #10 ·
i also read somewhere that finding it hard to concentrate is a symptom of anxiety and depression - maybe i have CFS and that makes you depressed and anxious - who knows its all maybe's, im sick of it im 23 years old and i should be out having conquering the world but i cant because of this shit.

maybe i should see my doc about anti depressants which also help with anxiety. I really dont fancy taking them, i just feel that ill get hooked and end up on more and more drugs that i will become dependant on. It worries me i dont know what to do.
 

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what i want to know is - can DP/DR create symptoms like

headches, dizziness, physical muscle pain/fatigue, very low stamina, concentration problems - not just the mental ones the physical ones too?
Most of those symptoms aren't specifically depersonalization, but many people who suffer from DP also have depression which gives rise at least to concentration problems and fatigue.

Muscle and general pains can also be related to depression, or could just be "one of those things" right now.

maybe i should see my doc about anti depressants which also help with anxiety. I really dont fancy taking them, i just feel that ill get hooked and end up on more and more drugs that i will become dependant on. It worries me i dont know what to do.
Don't worry about addiction on SSRIs; they aren't addictive and are nothin like benzodiazepemes. If you feel you need to take them right now, go for it. Perhaps you could use them as a "crutch" while you're waiting for a good shrink or a firm diagnosis.
 
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Discussion Starter · #12 ·
so what happens after a diagnosis - nothing?
i was diagnosed with CFS and then they say oh sorry there's nothing we can do for you

what is the best thing to do to stop these thoughts? just get on with things?
half the time i dont realise im doing it, its just an automatic thought for me now - i know CBT is used to change thought patterns so maybe thats the way
 
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