Hi there. My name is Nicole, I am 23 years old and I have been stuck in an episode of depersonalization and dissociation for 2 months now. I am terrified. I am exhausted. And I see no end in sight. I feel like my eyes are fuzzy. Like I cannot see clearly. I have tried Eastern medication, acupuncture, and western medicine (modern medicine) and the only thing that has taken the edge off is a combination of a few medications. But I am still not even close to somewhat okay. I cry almost every day. I have tunnel vision 24/7.
I feel like I am in a movie, like nothing is real. I can't remember anything. I feel vulnerable. There is "static" in my head. I feel like I am watching from inside my body, but behind my eyes. Everything is either too loud or too quiet. I had to quit my job because of this. Things don't look real, but also look too real. This reminds me of when I used to smoke pot in high school and I would get paranoid. I am a recovering opiate addict. 3 years clean. And this mental illness has taken over me. It was suggested to me to try neurofeedback? I just want things to be clear like they used to. I want to recognize places that used to be familiar to me. I want to feel real. I don't want to feel like I am underwater anymore. I am so scared that it will never go away. I try breathing exersizes throughout the day but my anxiety is always through the roof. Finding this website just gave me some relief. Does anyone have any advice? I am desperate for relief. Thank you in advance. Best wishes to everyone
Hi Nicole, my name is Sarah. I understand perfectly what you described because it sounds identical to my experience with derealization. I developed derealization last september because of an anxiety disorder that I had when I was little and resurfaced when I got older. However, I am pleased to report that I am nearly fully recovered!
Whoever told you to try neurofeedback is sending you in the right direction.
I had endured DR on my own for about a month and a half before I completely broke down and sobbed in my mom's lap and told her how I had been feeling. So, we started looking for help. My mom would mention what I was going through to pretty much everyone she knows, trying to find a lead.
We've been seeing an applied kinesiologist for several years, and she mentioned it during an appointment she had with him. After that, we set up an appointment for me to see him and he set me up with supplements and suggested neurofeedback.
I suggest going to Neuroptimal.com and finding a practitioner near you. It has completely turned this around for me, I'm like I used to be, life is like it used to be.
One of the plethora of awesome things about the brain is that it is, like so many things, self-healing, it just needs some help to do that sometimes. Neurofeedback tells the brain where the problem areas are and the brain will fix them itself.
Don't get discouraged if you don't seem to feel a change immediately, it was around the tenth session when the tables turned for me, and it's been quick healing since then.
There are a few things that are important to remember right now:
1) Never cry alone.
2) Don't you dare worry about this. Worrying means suffering twice.
3) Don't lone-wolf this one. To cross this ocean, you need a fully crewed ship.
4) Remember that you're just sick. There is no sickness that doesn't have a cure, there is no venom that doesn't have an antidote.
i can relate so much to your descriptions though your experience seems to be more intence ...i was always describing the nature of my disconection with exactly the same ways you did today ....i had this feeling from 14 years old though i was always in such a numb state without realising it and i did have my awakening and returning to my own skin and the opening of my eyes i will paste a song read the lyrics
La di da di da da
La di da di da da
La di da di da da
La da da
I am tied by truth like an anchor
Anchored to a bottomless sea
I am floating freely in the heavens
Held in by your heart's gravity
All because of love
All because of love
Even though sometimes you don't know who I am
I am you, everything you do
Anything you say, you want me to be
You're me with your arms on a chain
Linked eternally in what we can't undo
And I am you
La di da di da da
La di da di da da
La di da di da da
La da da
All my senses awaken to the changes
And I feel alive inside my own skin
All my reasons tell just how strange it is
Coming home to a place I've always been
And it's all for love
And it's all for love
Even though sometimes, I don't know who I am
I am you, everything you do
Anything you say, you want me to be
You're me with your arms on a chain
Linked eternally in what we can't undo
I'm you
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