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Hi all,

I've been experiencing dissociative and depersonalisation symptoms for about 12 years now (I'm currently 20 years old) though have never had an official diagnosis related to these symptoms.

I've had various other diagnosis over the years, including depression, anxiety, PTSD and anorexia, and have been involved with various mental health services from the age of 10. Up until a couple of years ago, however (the last time I was in therapy) I never discussed these symptoms, as I frequently experienced paranoia, too, and was convinced I would be locked up and given medication which would change me.

Although my symptoms and their effects are a lot less severe than they were throughout my teenage years (I used to put myself in a lot of danger when going through periods where nothing felt real, though the risk of this is now much lower as the periods of depersonalisation don't last as long, so I am able to recognise that it's just an episode before completely detaching from my life) they still interfere a lot with my life, relationships and work, and often lead me to feeling very depressed when I realise I've spent weeks on end basically walking around like a robot.

I am mostly here just to see if there's anyone who's experiences I can relate to, as I've never really discussed this with others, though am also interested to hear how anybody here with a diagnosis went about getting that, and whether they found it useful. I am unsure what, if any, disorder I might have, but am very sick of feeling so lost and lonely in it all.

Thanks

Supern0va ????
 

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Hey, welcome, I was waiting but seems like my turn again,

I take it from your past experiences with a few doctors that you are or have tried some medication? I'm not sure reading this.

You seem to think two things which I can clear up hopefully, IMO:

Depersonalization is no reason to 'get locked up' so you can quit that worry, always better out than in, professionals are there to help, the good ones anyway, plus DP isn't even listed, for instance on my licence, anxiety is, DP isn't even a condition they care about. It's how you feel, not your actions that feel off.

Medication can change you on a high enough dose, but from what I have seen when you are suffering, for the better. I can only relate this back to me, in my case, I am numb without Mirtazapine, don't listen to music, or really feel positive about life. The changes? well I am more positive me than I was even before DP, which means I was probably always a bit depressed i've come to realise... I don't think about negative things as much and much less worried about the future, that's a massive change for me, who is career and future driven... is it a bad thing? no... i'd take that me over the other me any day.

I have heard friends on AD's with feel false happiness, I had that on an SSRI, so I switched.. so it's kinda that easy, if it doesn't work, you can change?

I'd kill to have episodes, it's just constant for me, but i've learnt to let it fade as it will in time, makes it easier to deal with.

You can relate to the 100,000 posts on this forum, anything you search with DPSH will most likely bring up a thread, it's all here.

If you feel like you really don't know, then you got to open up, go to a professional about DP, personally, I have and got it confirmed, but I did the Cambridge test recently and it gave me a better scale than they ever could. Try googling Cambridge Depersonalization test and see how it goes?

Lonely? most of us are to be honest, it's hard when you are numb, that's why without medication, even though I am currently not on it for other reasons, I'd be thinking this is never gonna be better, but because i've experienced emotions on them, it really chilled that worry for me... sorry if this doesn't answer much, Ck
 
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