[danilee]

Hi my name is DAni. My story seems familiar to many that I have read on this site. I smoked pot and a couple of the times I did it I freaked out (once at 15 yo, next 23 yo) I thought I was going to die, nothing seemed real and I was fading in and out. Body felt numb.

I continued to have panic attacks as I got older. I am now 26. Been under a lot of stress so decided to go back to a pschiatrist. (used to take paxil for 5 yrs, 18-22).
OK here is whats happened. I layed down to take a nap last tuesday afternoon before my DR appt. I got up looked at the clock, it was time to go. Grabbed keys told husband bye, and kiss. I left. While driving, I felt like I was still sleeping. LITERALY, like I didnt wake up. It wasnt real. Then I thought OK this is just a panic attack. I managed to make it across town to the DR appt. I still felt like nothing was real, and my husband was going to WAKE ME UP at any minute.
Needless to say, he never did, and I am here almost a week later, feeling like people dont exist. Completely questioning life. What are we, why are we here. whats real whats not. all sorts of weird things. I cannot concentrate, and I think I am going to go schitzo or somthing, and I wont remember my little boy or husband. I am really scared.

The doc gave me Zoloft, which I have been taking. I also have OCD and znxiety. I am wondering, is my OCD making me keep thinking all of this? Why so I feel like the whole world is fake, or something. Hard to explain. Please help. Thank you to anyone with advice.

 

[andymania]

Dani,

Your mind is now on red alert and its defense mechanisms are on full strength. These feelings of "fakeness" "unreality" are being generated by your subconscious and this is how unfortunately the mind protects itself from high anxiety. In this state you will be constantly obsessing and checking up on yourself and you will fear you will go schizo. I went through this several months ago and can perfectly relate. The truth is you are still intact except your perception has been changed. You need to change the channel. In order to do so, YOU MUST NOT FIGHT IT AND OBSESS. That will just add fuel to this beast.

exmely hard to do in the state your in since you are so terriffied that you will go nuts. You are in the middle of a huge illusion that your sub-con is throwing at you. You have to focus outward and not inward and occupy yourself. Over time your mind will reset and tune in to the correct frequency. I am on zoloft currently as well and it has helped me tremendously. You have to give it at leat a month maybe a little more. Dont bail out on it too soon. This all take lots and lots of time and is very gradual.

YOU ARE NOT SCHIZO NOR ARE YOU INSANE.

The mind is capable of generating very teriffying states. Believe me.
Plus there is excellent advice on this website. Just read some posts in the forum and you'll feel better.

-Andy

 

[danilee]

Hi andy
thank you for replying to me. i still feel awful. your post helps. i just dont feel right.

you said that you are on Zoloft as well. Can you share with me your dosage? thank you.

 

[Guest]

Hey,

I developed DR and OCD fairly recently (after drug use as well).... for a while after the initial panic attack I had very bad DR and felt the EXACT same way you did... very bad feelings of unreality and 'dreamlike' states that triggered all sorts of existential anxiety.... that was about three months ago, and it's still not resolved although much better than it was. The intense DR faded with time - strangely what helped me was a particular DP session, which convinced me that if the world wasn't real, then I was equally unreal.... and at least we were on the same plane of unreality =) I didn't take any medication but got through most of it by focusing on getting used to anxiety, as all my DR was triggered by it (and contributing to it at the same time). Sometimes all I could do was sit and focus on my breath ..... very difficult period. Dealing with OCD thoughts on top of it is extremely hard..... =( Don't give up though...... things have gotten far better since that time.... hang in there ~ !!

 

[andymania]

Dani,

I am on 50 mg once a day. This has always worked for me. Although my doctor said that usually 100mg is prescribed to really handle the OCD.

-ANDY