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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
Hi everyone,

I was browsing the web and trying to get more information on DP/DR so I can get more answers on what the heck I'm supposed to do and this forum showed up in one of my searches. I don't necessarily have a good support system in real life so I'm hoping this is a resource I can use to help me cope and relate to others as well.

I'm only 20 so I'm pretty young, but I've been seeing a psychiatrist/on medication and doing therapy since I was 13. Initially my diagnosis was just depression with PTSD. It wasn't until a couple years ago that I discovered I have borderline personality disorder. It had gotten to the point where my performance in school and life in general had plummeted that I couldn't properly function, so at the recommendation of my doctor I withdrew from school and entered a treatment center for my mood disorder. I've been in and out of treatment centers and also in and out of school since then, but I didn't really pay attention to my derealization until recently. I feel like it's always been there but I never made much of it because I thought it was just me daydreaming or being too depressed to know what's going on - also didn't know that it existed as its own disorder/symptom as I wasn't too educated on that.

I'm not sure if it's gotten worse over time (is that what usually happens?) or if it's just me paying more attention since I'm more aware now after being in treatment so much, but it's to the point now where I feel like I'm in a living hell and I wouldn't wish this upon anyone. Everything I read tells me that the way it's experienced is different for everyone, and that doesn't necessarily make me feel better because I just feel more lost and helpless.

I'm no longer in treatment now and am attempting to return to school, but the first time DR/DP was fully brought to my attention was when it reached its peak in front of other people. I'm trying to figure out the right words to explain this because I don't exactly know but about a year ago I went on vacation out of the country and when I returned I was so confused and I couldn't process the fact that I existed and we lived on a planet with different countries and just the idea that I was real and this is the world we are in. I think this episode was from my mind being in a state of shock from going from one country to another, but I was at home (also have traveled to that place many times before) and I kept pacing and grabbing things and touching them to make sure they were there. I looked in the mirror and was terrified to see the reflection and I would constantly look at my hands and my body and stare at them for hours because it didn't make sense to me. It was to the point where my speech was broken and didn't make much sense because the fact that sound was coming out of my mouth was weird to me and the fact that I'm supposed to be able to control it was weirder. My family tried to talk to me but we weren't able to hold full conversations and anything they said sounded fuzzy to me. I knew I was here and I still know I'm here, but I don't feel it. They thought it was psychosis, but after talking to a couple doctors they told me it was derealization as a result of ptsd and bpd, and that dissociation is the body's way of coping.

That was the first time it reached an extreme for me and I recognized what was really going on, but since then I've had a lot more of those peaks and I can feel it building up and I know the only way it will go back down is once it hits as high as it can go. Every doctor I've talked to tells me the only way to make it go away is by working on the mood disorder and ptsd through talk therapy and mindfulness, which I tried to do at the last treatment center I was at. It seems like I've talked to professionals so much and nothing has changed because they all give the same answer by saying just go to therapy. If anything, the more time I've spent working on myself the worse the symptoms feel because the more I have to think about it. In terms of friends and family I'm not close enough with anyone to get real support and even then nobody understands it. I feel I'm involuntarily in a dreamlike state most of the time, but I've had more severe points lately than before where I can't function and there's no real cause to it. I thought the first extreme episode from my trip was just stress on my body from change in environment, but now it will peak out of nowhere. I'm really tired of it and especially now that I am returning to school full time I am wondering if I will be able to make it through without reaching a high point.

I apologize for typing so much and also not clearly explaining all the symptoms - it's kind of hard to think of all of them and put it on paper but I appreciate anyone that read all of this. Let me know if you have any thoughts as I'd love to learn from everyone else on here. People that don't understand seem to invalidate a lot of what goes on in our heads, so I'm glad to have found this forum.
 

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Welcome along...

Ive had DP for many years and my ex wife had BPD...Suffice to say our marriage was an absolute disaster...Between my bouts of being incapacitated and her regular bursts of rage it just wasnt meant to be...

To be dealing with both conditions together as an individual like you are must be absolutely awful...

The problem both of these conditions have is that they can go totally unnoticed by others around you whilst you yourself suffer in silence...

I hope you start to improve and feel better soon and im sure you will once you look after yourself and reduce the stress levels in your life...Your definitely in the right place for advice and info on DP...Most average doctors, shrinks and therapists are useless as regards this type of stuff...

Go easy on yourself too...Your not a bad person and this is not your fault...Its just life circumstances that have brought you to where you are mentally...

Your gonna be ok I promise!
 

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I agree doctors are pretty much useless when it comes to this.. This is complex thing it can be caused by many factors, i personally read many posts and threads and consulted many professional people, compared alot of different people experiences about this and im certain i could help bunch of people out there since i had this but sadly most people wont take me seriously. DP/dr is not simply "coping mechanism" and it is usually followed by more dreadful symptoms like brain fog, chronic fatigue, anhedonia, blank mind which i had ALL of them and even more although my general blood tests were pretty good. This thing can be also symptom of undrelying disease or toxicity to heavy metals. There are things like lyme, mercury toxicity , GBS etc. Everyone have different dp/dr i had most chronic version although i never touched weed or any drug but there are other things that "killed" me and i know it well. But principle is pretty same for everyone i will copy you how you can get over it in short period its up to you if you want to follow it no matter how bad u feel u can get much better in short time if you go hard
 

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1.Take vitamins & minerals, specially D3 + B complex (if you are D or B12 deficient it is way worse)
2. Stop with drugs, alcohol, coffe for some time
3. Stop masturbation for 1 or 2 months (very important, masturbating mess up your already messed neurotransmitters and brain hormons and affect nervous system, specially if its excessive like going 4 or more times a week and this is just so true although modern medicine doesnt agree, you even have noFap forums and specialists in some countries like in for example India, it can be huge problem if you masturbate daily while having dp/dr. My experience masturbating 3-4 daily for few days brought me nervous weakness and brain fog at the time i felt 90% better, and i had to battle those for a long time)
4. (Most important, key to recovery) Exercise! Intense exercise, every day driving bike outside for 4-5 hours is best for recovery. Also push-ups, martial arts weight lifting is very good, u can do it 1-2 times weekly and rest of days cycling. Best remedy for "unreal" feeling is, cycling for HOURS a day. Read this thread, http://www.dpselfhelp.com/forum/index.php?/topic/54514-how-strenuous-exercise-helped-my-dpdr/ but dont think you will get cured in just 3 days like this guy, i needed 8-9 days of vigorously doing it to feel significant difference)
Thats it, if you follow this routine for 1-2 months u will be cured, or atleast 90% better which will make it livable. It is very hard to start it, but if you are strong and willing to do this u will get back normal. Also i repeat this doesnt count if you have something serious like lyme disease or something but will still help you greatly, although u first need to treat disease. Breaking rules i mentioned (excessive masturbating, taking drugs, taking alcohol can make u relapse temporary or make you feel temporary worse). Good luck i just try to help someone
 

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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Welcome along...

Ive had DP for many years and my ex wife had BPD...Suffice to say our marriage was an absolute disaster...Between my bouts of being incapacitated and her regular bursts of rage it just wasnt meant to be...

To be dealing with both conditions together as an individual like you are must be absolutely awful...

The problem both of these conditions have is that they can go totally unnoticed by others around you whilst you yourself suffer in silence...

I hope you start to improve and feel better soon and im sure you will once you look after yourself and reduce the stress levels in your life...Your definitely in the right place for advice and info on DP...Most average doctors, shrinks and therapists are useless as regards this type of stuff...

Go easy on yourself too...Your not a bad person and this is not your fault...Its just life circumstances that have brought you to where you are mentally...

Your gonna be ok I promise!
I really appreciate the nice words! I've read that once you have one personality disorder it's pretty common to get diagnosed with another as comorbidity is likely, but the problem with both is how easily they can be misdiagnosed. I was told for some time I had bipolar disorder and was given medication for it, but that actually ended up making the symptoms way worse - very dangerous to give the wrong meds. That said, I agree that doctors are pretty useless in this as a lot of them struggle for awhile to give a correct diagnosis and even then there's not much help to offer. Almost like we're left on our own to figure it out. Do you have anything specific you've done that you think has helped you with your DP?
 

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Discussion Starter · #6 ·
I agree doctors are pretty much useless when it comes to this.. This is complex thing it can be caused by many factors, i personally read many posts and threads and consulted many professional people, compared alot of different people experiences about this and im certain i could help bunch of people out there since i had this but sadly most people wont take me seriously. DP/dr is not simply "coping mechanism" and it is usually followed by more dreadful symptoms like brain fog, chronic fatigue, anhedonia, blank mind which i had ALL of them and even more although my general blood tests were pretty good. This thing can be also symptom of undrelying disease or toxicity to heavy metals. There are things like lyme, mercury toxicity , GBS etc. Everyone have different dp/dr i had most chronic version although i never touched weed or any drug but there are other things that "killed" me and i know it well. But principle is pretty same for everyone i will copy you how you can get over it in short period its up to you if you want to follow it no matter how bad u feel u can get much better in short time if you go hard
I haven't really touched drugs either (or at least enough to experience DP that way) so I don't have much to compare this to. It's such a strange thing to me that our brains are capable of experiencing this on their own without any of that. I've found that exercising helps but it feels like it's only a short term/immediate solution
 

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I really appreciate the nice words! I've read that once you have one personality disorder it's pretty common to get diagnosed with another as comorbidity is likely, but the problem with both is how easily they can be misdiagnosed. I was told for some time I had bipolar disorder and was given medication for it, but that actually ended up making the symptoms way worse - very dangerous to give the wrong meds. That said, I agree that doctors are pretty useless in this as a lot of them struggle for awhile to give a correct diagnosis and even then there's not much help to offer. Almost like we're left on our own to figure it out. Do you have anything specific you've done that you think has helped you with your DP?
Serious stress reduction in ALL areas of my life and Medicine...Medicine gave me my life back...In particular an Atypical Anti Psychotic called Sulpiride...In a minimum dose it makes this crap manageable...Along with a low dose anti depressant to help with my mood levels and anxiety levels...The combo of the 2 keeps me in check...Without Sulpiride all bets are off though...Its straight back to DP hell if I even attempt to stop it for a couple of days....

Other than that I have totally reduced all levels of stress and worry in my life...I live very simply now....I do alot of walking (especially in nature) and eat better as well as avoiding alcohol and drugs (illegal) like the plague...I also took up an engaging interesting hobby to feed my mind with interesting positive stuff...Oh and I now work part time as a full time demanding high stress job I found was not good for me at all....
 
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