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Hi guys,
I've been coming to this forum the past couple weeks and decided to create an account and possibly explain my situation and see what this community may have to offer to help me. Im 18 yrs old, female, and i assume this was both marijuanna and stress induced if what im feeling is DP/DR. So near the end of june my boyfriend and i decided to smoke some weed just for fun i guess, i smoked once before with him and our friends but i truly got a slight buzz if that makes sense but i was not high that time. But when it was just my boyfriend and i smoking I GOT REALLY HIGH. It didnt hit me at first but then i was suddenly bombarded with the sense that time was going by so slowly and i felt as if everything i was doing i was seeing in like high definition. I started to get up to get water from the refrigerator and then boom fear hit me i was scared of this feeling i didnt like it :( i felt as if i were in a dream or as if that scary feeling you get when you get dejavu just lingered within me. My boyfriend calmed me down and i just accepted this and it was pretty chill after that. After about 4 hours i went home and slept. The next morning i woke up COMPLETELY FINE! so i was like hell yeah that was so freaking fun i cant believe i just did that im such a rebel like hell yeah! (This is the part that confuses me cause from every forum ive read about people having marijuana induced DPDR they usually wake up feeling DPDR but i didnt leading me to believe it was a mix with major stress build up) later that day I found out my cousin was diagnosed with cancer and it fucking sucked! We went to see him and he seemed to be holding up good and was confident he would make it through this i was confident as well! Later that day my friend and i were driving to get ranch for our food and on the way there I started feeling weird tingly sensations all over my body. We pulled up to the grocery store and my friend opens up the passenger door and a squeaky sound comes creaking from the door which I recently just hit a deer the week before so this may be something that stressed me out but when i heard that squeaking sound my ENTIRE BODY EVERYTHING WENT NUMB! It lasted like this for an entire week it was terrible i would feel so dizzy and so scared I would spend all of my day searching up what may be wrong and looking inwards on my symptoms 24/7 worrying why this feeling wouldn't go away this hazy feeling of being high lingered with me too so i was freaking out that the weed was laced or something god knows but it went away and i cant even remember how but all I remember is that i was left with this feeling of unreality. Still feeling this hazy high like feeling! I felt like i was going crazy another week went by so I decided to see a therapist, i told her everything and she told me she thinks is stress induced and that this will go away but she never went into details i felt good leaving her office she truly made me realize my negative thoughts on certain ways on how i was viewing this. I kept telling myself i will always feel this way i will never get better! I WAS ALSO HAVING THIS ROUGH TIME BREATHING, one night i was convinced i was having a heart attack but i just slept on it and i woke up okay although this lingered up until a couple days ago i came to realize if it really was life threatening wouldnt i be dead by now? But i was confused as to why everything felt so unreal i told her i felt depersonalized ans she just said it would go away and i shouldnt worry and she changed the subject quickly! So god this is long but lets try and make it short now i just want to get a preface for you guys.
So the stress my therapist and i came up with that she believes has been causing this is:
-going back to my 3rd yr of college and not getting into a program yet
-my cousin diagnosed with cancer
-my car
-my friend moving away
-& now this strange feeling like my stress or anxiety was causing me to feel more of it.

So currently right now im in Europe and everyday has been pretty good but i get bad at times when i start to think deeply its like i cant stop thinking about it. The thing that has been bothering me the most with this feeling of unreality and just feeling like im in a dream is that i have started to fear death, not to a point where i dont go out and do things but like it freaks me out, i keep wondering whats after death! Ive also been having terrible existential thoughts so thats been rough too.
Now my question to you is do you think im depersonalized is this something different is there any advice you can give me i dont know what wrong with me :( i just try and keeping positive but this has really been affecting me terribly! This has been lasting for about 2 months now I worry it wont go away that now i know how this feeling feels like i will always feel this way :( someone please help. Im sorry for this long and probably not so good post but please help me give me your thoughts and opinions! Thank you
 

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Welcome to the forums, Milk&honey! :)

I would trust your psychologist on this one. Stress and anxiety can do some very weird things to our bodies - more than people think. The amalgamation of issues that you seem to be facing in such a short period of time might result in something like this. Anxiety is a very well-documenting cause of depersonalization, so it isn't far-fetched to assume that your anxiety is peaking and causing this hazy, high-like feeling. Keep communicating with your therapist and see what kind of things you can do about keeping your anxiety at bay. The more you lower it, the more you might find your symptoms lessening.

As always, the forum is open for you to speak with others and communicate. You're not alone and many people have gone through what you're experiencing, including myself. Try to escape the existential thoughts, as that will only increase your anxiety. This is easier said than done, but try not to worry so much about death and illness.

You'll push through this and recover, I promise you! :cool:
 
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