[Derealized]

Hi everyone!
I’ve had derealization and depersonalization none-stop for 10 years now and have been diagnosed for about 4 years. I’ve been in therapy for the last 5 years every week and have been on different medications, even had mr scans and an eeg done. Nothing helps, and now I’m basically kicked out from the psychiatric care, with the request “find a forum so you feel less alone and can talk to someone else about this”, so here I am.

Even though it all feels hopeless at times (many times), I try to practice mindfullness and being present, though that looks different for me than the common person. I’ve gotten over the worst depression from being this way and I’m trying to be more accepting, because frustration just worsen it. I’m trying to focus on having a valuable life now and not obsessing over getting out of this bubble, I’ve done that before and then suddenly years flew by without me having any nice memories. Nice memories are still valuable even if they feel like a dream and unreal, it’s still a nice plot of your life. So I try to still live as pursue all things I’d do if I didn’t experience this. Because if I ever come out of this state I don’t want to start with nothing and sit with the feeling of how I’ve wasted my life.

Not sure what my point of typing this is, but hey here I am and here’s my experience!
Quickly about me as a person: I’m a 26 year old woman, I got two cats and is an design-student. So if anyone would be up to chat I’d like to try it (I’m new to this community/forum thing)!

 

[leminaseri]

Hi everyone!
I’ve had derealization and depersonalization none-stop for 10 years now and have been diagnosed for about 4 years. I’ve been in therapy for the last 5 years every week and have been on different medications, even had mr scans and an eeg done. Nothing helps, and now I’m basically kicked out from the psychiatric care, with the request “find a forum so you feel less alone and can talk to someone else about this”, so here I am.

Even though it all feels hopeless at times (many times), I try to practice mindfullness and being present, though that looks different for me than the common person. I’ve gotten over the worst depression from being this way and I’m trying to be more accepting, because frustration just worsen it. I’m trying to focus on having a valuable life now and not obsessing over getting out of this bubble, I’ve done that before and then suddenly years flew by without me having any nice memories. Nice memories are still valuable even if they feel like a dream and unreal, it’s still a nice plot of your life. So I try to still live as pursue all things I’d do if I didn’t experience this. Because if I ever come out of this state I don’t want to start with nothing and sit with the feeling of how I’ve wasted my life.

Not sure what my point of typing this is, but hey here I am and here’s my experience!
Quickly about me as a person: I’m a 26 year old woman, I got two cats and is an design-student. So if anyone would be up to chat I’d like to try it (I’m new to this community/forum thing)!

this is the perfect example for people who claim to have „accepted“ the dpdr but write after 10 years such a story. the obvious explanation for what happens if you stay obsessed with this for 10 years.

edit: im so sure you claimed 8 years ago to have accepted this illness xddddddd

yeah man

 

[leminaseri]

by the way if someone who got recently in touch with dpdr read this he will become literally suicidal. „yeah i tried everything and i tried this and that and nothing helped and yeah so here i am“

- „wowww im fucked brother gimme the gun there is no hope“

 

[Derealized]

Wow man, I thought this community was meant to share one’s experiences. I mean I struggle, and I talked about my struggle, I didn’t claim to be an inspiration story. I just wanted to find people who understand, but I suppose this wasn’t it then. Also I never even in the first place claim to have accepted it? I said TRYING, not that it’s successful all or even most of the time. I just wanted to say that I’m trying to have a positive outlook and end on a positive note. My intention wasn’t to make others feel bad, but does that mean that no one can talk about struggling long term and what they have tried? I guess one should shut up after a while and shut everything in then, but it’s fine to scream about triggering topics if it’s new, only then you’re allowed to be desperate?

 

[leminaseri]

Wow man, I thought this community was meant to share one’s experiences. I mean I struggle, and I talked about my struggle, I didn’t claim to be an inspiration story. I just wanted to find people who understand, but I suppose this wasn’t it then. Also I never even in the first place claim to have accepted it? I said TRYING, not that it’s successful all or even most of the time. I just wanted to say that I’m trying to have a positive outlook and end on a positive note. My intention wasn’t to make others feel bad, but does that mean that no one can talk about struggling long term and what they have tried? I guess one should shut up after a while and shut everything in then, but it’s fine to scream about triggering topics if it’s new, only then you’re allowed to be desperate?

dont get me wrong i didnt want to offend you. it was just a respond to people who lived with this for 30 years and post in the internet „nothing helped“. in my opinion it does harm to people who recently got in touch with dpdr. it isnt about you posted something or it is also not about you personally.

but i dont like people who have this for so long because this is the ultimate threat for me to become like them. sorry

 

[Derealized]

dont get me wrong i didnt want to offend you. it was just a respond to people who lived with this for 30 years and post in the internet „nothing helped“. in my opinion it does harm to people who recently got in touch with dpdr. it isnt about you posted something or it is also not about you personally.

but i dont like people who have this for so long because this is the ultimate threat for me to become like them. sorry

lot’s of people get rid of it, in fact most people do. DR is a normal response for the body to have, it’s a survival mechanism what is NOT normal is for it to be ongoing for 10 years so try to not worry about time, and maybe even dare to listen to these scary lessons from us who happend to be the cursed ones who this stays with. I was so scared aswell earlier and still am, but that doesn’t help, trying to still live a valuable life is key and then a lot of the time it goes away without all the things I tried that didn’t help ME, but i’m sure most people come out of it way earlier. I’ve got this from lots of childhood trauma going on for many years, so I cooped this way very early and intensely so mine is unusually stubborn. But for exposure and research purposes us who has it long term must be able to exist and talk about it, I mean something must happen in this field and treatments must be figured out, because we exist and no part of the community should be silenced if we want change for all of us! Maybe I should have put a trigger warning up, but all I wanted was to find someone who relates but also is determined to get better so it’s uplifting for both and not toxic. I understand it’s scary to imagine it going on for this long, but the fact is you’ll probably get rid of it and I’m still here, so it shouldn’t be a problem for me to exist it the one space for my diagnosis!

 

[Elliot Palmberg]

Can i ask, what have you done to get better?

 

[coolwhip27]

Don’t feel like you can’t share on here, it’s what this site is for. I don’t think lemin meant any harm, this illness is associated with much negative thoughts & feelings for people so it makes for the reactions on this forum very “unique” at times...

Also I think it’s very easy to generalize about how we have felt for the past 10 years. DP can come and go you know..

 

[Derealized]

Don’t feel like you can’t share on here, it’s what this site is for. I don’t think lemin meant any harm, this illness is associated with much negative thoughts & feelings for people so it makes for the reactions on this forum very “unique” at times...

Also I think it’s very easy to generalize about how we have felt for the past 10 years. DP can come and go you know..

Sorry for the late response, haven’t logged on here! But thank you for your kind words, I tried to not feel too bad about it because I know how difficult this all is and it sure can cause feelings of frustrations and unfairness.
I’m aware that for some it comes and goes, though for me it is constant, so not a generalisation just my experience of daily life!

 

[Derealized]

Can i ask, what have you done to get better?

Hejsan!
Well, i’ve been in therapy for 5 years, nothing works perfect but I’m applying methods for dissociation over all and mindfulness, and the most important thing is to not “give up”, it gets so much more unbearable when you loose the structure of daily life, so to partake in normalcy makes you feel less beside the world and more in the same dimension, even though it might feel like a dream of it. And also work on anything else you might be struggling with, I’m in a way better place now since I worked through a lot of other stuff even if I’m still in “the bubble”.