Depersonalization Support Forum banner
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
G

·
Discussion Starter · #1 ·
I'm new here and im also bpd, bipolar, ptsd, and panic disorder.

I experienced some scary stuff on Friday last week.....

I was on my couch while a friend was bringing in papers for my paper route. The next thing I know, I see a figure of me in back of the couch. I had an out of body experience, I know that much. I came back as she said, "And a little bird said..." and I said, "What?" to her. She said, "Never mind and left. " I had a similar experience at age 2 when I almost choked to death on a marble. I saw myself from above crawling to my mom and dad holding my throat and being shook upside down. I had it until I came back.

Then, I was drawing a cartoon on Friday as well on my couch. All of a sudden I heard a knock on the door. The next thing I knew, I was on the other side of my living room table yelling at my friend's roomate and not even knowing I started it at all or what I was saying. I stopped and noticed he was yelling back. Then, I answered the door trying to pretend as if nothing happened and called my friend back. I have had blackouts when I used to drink 6 years ago and drug. I have been off for that long so far.

The rest of the weekend was a huge mess with periods of numb and intense anxiety afterwards.

I sympathized with some other things I read on here as well so far. As a child, and into later years on and off, I thought I was dead and I was back as a ghost. I often pondered that maybe the world wasn't real and that we were just all ghosts on an earth that wasn't even real. I often stare out and miss what people say totally like I'm in another world. I've been accused of that and its as if the very place I was standing and the things around me weren't there a second ago even if it was reality where I sat or stood. Its like I get stuck in my thoughts and forget that things exist and I've done that a lot of my life. Even having the tv loud this weekend the voices faded on it and others voices have too if I have tuned out. It is like automatic and I can do it at anytime. I get moments where I don't feel real at times too and I am not there even if I really am in form. Or that I'm lighter or heavier then I really am. Things get smaller and pushed back or the lighting changes or everything blurs. That I'm made of jelly at times all over. I question it since I'm knowing more and more people really don't get like this or aren't like this.

I talked to my psychiatrist since I had to see him yesterday and only told him the first 2 experiences. He said maybe it was related to stress I went through and I had no stress at the time that I knew of until later when a supportive person started asking questions and got some stuff out of me I had hid away. I was ok and drawing cartoons before this even occurred, not even aware of what was in me. I was happy. Then this happened. He said to watch this and see if it continues. I failed to tell him the rest of the things below (the third paragraph of this post) I never told anyone about that in my whole entire life. I didnt tell him since I was embarrassed. I'm really scared and need some insight right now. I have no idea what I should do... :?
 
1 - 1 of 1 Posts
Top