Hi...suppose i should start off with a little background. I am a girl, 21, and have experianced numerous traumas in life. But its only recent that ive started having these bizzare symptoms.
These include:
I feel like everything i experiance (see, hear, taste, smell, or touch) isnt accually happening. My vision espessially is affected. I camt take anything in without me going "is this really happening right now??" Even good things! Its as if im dreaming but deep down i know im not?
I feel like im in a little forcefield of mine or something like a bubble. I feel trapped in my own mind.
Im extremely aware of my own preception. But everything i take in doesnt feel concrete or real to me.
Im in tact with emotions but they arnt fully present. Its like the emotion is there and i express it but i dont really FEEL it.
My entire life feels strange. Even when i think back to my childhood, like in kindergarden; that preception i had as a child, the fact i had this normal, grounded view of myself and the world around me suddenly feels strange to me.
Ive dealt with near constant thinking on death and existence but its slowly dampened a bit. But even though its dampened, i still have the same issues along with some kind of depression cause i dont think things matter anymore, espessially since nothing feels genuine anymore.
I almost cant think of life without this now? Ive become so used to this feeling, i dont really remember how normal felt or if its even possible to return to normal. I almost feel it was inevitable i developed this and now theres no turning back.
I feel like BECAUSE ive been to such a scary, mysterious place of the mind, i cant come back from it. Its like a part of my mind just blew open and i finally see the sheer absurdity of how anything can exist at all. I feel like im dooming the whole universe by thinking this and its funny cause when it first happened, i worried this new questioning would make me suddenly stop existing or the whole universe would stop existing if i got sucked in too far or something. That probably makes no sense...
I feel like just a floating bundle of consciousness that doesnt understand why its here.
I cant really feel that my life isnt my own? Its like i cant recognize my life anymore. Lots of times, things feel foreign or alien to me. I just looked outside through the window (its night time) and its as if all of that is just a picture, a projection, or something thats not really there.
Old material things i used to care about have no meaning or value anymore. My relationships, my morals, values, my hobbies...i also look at objects in my room i have hanging or decorative things and think "why is this even important?"
My loved ones keep saying to just live like every days your last and to be happy but how can i do that when everything feels like it isnt happening?
Theres probably loads more symptoms i have but cant think of atm but please if anyones got advice or ways to fix this, id like some help. I know its DP or DR and i have a need to recover but i feel like its permanently affected how i think now.
These include:
I feel like everything i experiance (see, hear, taste, smell, or touch) isnt accually happening. My vision espessially is affected. I camt take anything in without me going "is this really happening right now??" Even good things! Its as if im dreaming but deep down i know im not?
I feel like im in a little forcefield of mine or something like a bubble. I feel trapped in my own mind.
Im extremely aware of my own preception. But everything i take in doesnt feel concrete or real to me.
Im in tact with emotions but they arnt fully present. Its like the emotion is there and i express it but i dont really FEEL it.
My entire life feels strange. Even when i think back to my childhood, like in kindergarden; that preception i had as a child, the fact i had this normal, grounded view of myself and the world around me suddenly feels strange to me.
Ive dealt with near constant thinking on death and existence but its slowly dampened a bit. But even though its dampened, i still have the same issues along with some kind of depression cause i dont think things matter anymore, espessially since nothing feels genuine anymore.
I almost cant think of life without this now? Ive become so used to this feeling, i dont really remember how normal felt or if its even possible to return to normal. I almost feel it was inevitable i developed this and now theres no turning back.
I feel like BECAUSE ive been to such a scary, mysterious place of the mind, i cant come back from it. Its like a part of my mind just blew open and i finally see the sheer absurdity of how anything can exist at all. I feel like im dooming the whole universe by thinking this and its funny cause when it first happened, i worried this new questioning would make me suddenly stop existing or the whole universe would stop existing if i got sucked in too far or something. That probably makes no sense...
I feel like just a floating bundle of consciousness that doesnt understand why its here.
I cant really feel that my life isnt my own? Its like i cant recognize my life anymore. Lots of times, things feel foreign or alien to me. I just looked outside through the window (its night time) and its as if all of that is just a picture, a projection, or something thats not really there.
Old material things i used to care about have no meaning or value anymore. My relationships, my morals, values, my hobbies...i also look at objects in my room i have hanging or decorative things and think "why is this even important?"
My loved ones keep saying to just live like every days your last and to be happy but how can i do that when everything feels like it isnt happening?
Theres probably loads more symptoms i have but cant think of atm but please if anyones got advice or ways to fix this, id like some help. I know its DP or DR and i have a need to recover but i feel like its permanently affected how i think now.
