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Needing some encouragement

1662 Views 10 Replies 4 Participants Last post by  Heather414
Hey guys. I'm feeling pretty down today. I miss myself. I miss the way I used to experience life. Life is just so meaningless right now. I hate this blank mind thing. Nothing has meaning anymore. I miss having solid memories and being interested in doing things. I just want to feel alive again and in my body/mind. Just the simple fact of living is overwhelming. It feels like I've never done it before. I'm not suicidal, I'm actually scared of death. I just feel so trapped in this body that I dont know what to do with. Any advice or encouragement would be appreciated.
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I was working with an electronic device. I was in the firmware changing parameters and answering questions to things I really didn't understand. When I was finished, my device didn't work as expected.

So, I went back in and hit the button that said "reset to factory defaults". After I did that, the device worked properly. I think that's what happened to me, when I had ECT in 2014. 99% of my chronic symptoms

went away, and I felt like I was 17 again. I still have the occasional mild ocular migraine and my EEGs will always be abnormal. I took the leap, and landed safely.
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