[WorriedPartner]

Hi all

I am new to this forum, and this type of thing in general. My partner has depersonalisation and has had for about a year now, but has gotten worse recently, and to be honest i'm starting to struggle.

the hardest part is listening but not knowing how to help because i cant experience what is happening. i have tried being positive but recently i cant seem to see the positives, and i feel like a liar just giving words of encouragement when nothing seems to be working. So many times do we both get our hopes up that something will work us in life then bam there is always something waiting around the corner to take that tiny bit of feeling away.

I know my partner love me, i never doubt it for a second, but as of lately i am being questions as to why i dont show as much love as i did before. the thing that breaks me is that i am , everything i know how to do i am doing, im trying to eliminate any'small things that might cause frustrations, tell him constantly that i love him and that i there is nothing to be sorry for, that we will be in this together, holding in long hugs.

does anyone have any advice, i dont know what more i can do.

Thanks in advance

WP

 

[solus]

I think if he could talk to fellow sufferers (if he hasn't already) at least once and preferably in person, then that could relieve a lot of the strain on you and the relationship. He is obviously suffering so greatly that he needs to talk to someone who can truly understand what he's going through, reassure him, and give useful advice. He could also seek advice here. There are some good suggestions in the Recovery Stories forum. I would not recommend dwelling here long, as it can become a constant reminder and trigger. Take what he has learned, leave and put it into practice in his life. Maybe come back later and share his recovery story.

My depersonalisation (and the related derealisation) brought me closer to my partner (now wife), and my family. In fact, I can imagine being single and estranged from my family now if it were not for dp/dr.

There was one point early on where it did put a massive strain on my family relationships, and I felt I was going to become a terrible burden. It was then that I decided -- perhaps unwisely, and don't take this as advice to your partner -- that it would be easier to suffer alone in silence, and that I should only share my joy and love with others, even when I was in deepest despair. My reasoning was that I would receive that joy and love in return, not fear or resentment. At most, when it was really bad and I had to talk to someone, I would translate my suffering into terms people could naturally empathise with: anxiety, loneliness, emotional numbness, panic attacks, etc.

Somehow that worked out for me, but it would have been a godsend to have found a community like this one when I first went through dp/dr and not feel so alone and hopeless.

Keep doing what you're doing, but take care of yourself too. You can give everything, and everything might not be enough in the worst moments.

Just be there for him and be patient. He will overcome it with your combined strength, and you will both be stronger when it all passes.

Hi all

I am new to this forum, and this type of thing in general. My partner has depersonalisation and has had for about a year now, but has gotten worse recently, and to be honest i'm starting to struggle.

the hardest part is listening but not knowing how to help because i cant experience what is happening. i have tried being positive but recently i cant seem to see the positives, and i feel like a liar just giving words of encouragement when nothing seems to be working. So many times do we both get our hopes up that something will work us in life then bam there is always something waiting around the corner to take that tiny bit of feeling away.

I know my partner love me, i never doubt it for a second, but as of lately i am being questions as to why i dont show as much love as i did before. the thing that breaks me is that i am , everything i know how to do i am doing, im trying to eliminate any'small things that might cause frustrations, tell him constantly that i love him and that i there is nothing to be sorry for, that we will be in this together, holding in long hugs.

does anyone have any advice, i dont know what more i can do.

Thanks in advance

WP