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please, it be so helpful, i dont know what to say ever, i feel like the words i say r just fake, like what im saying means nothing, also im so unconfident it gives me anxiety and my anxiety is so bad i make others feel uncomfortable, fucking sucks

and i got my 1st day 2marro at my new job, how i even got hired like this, only god knows

but dang, being able to talk again would be a confident booster
 

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I totally hear you, I'm still working on this myself but one thing I do is ask people questions about themselves. They feel good after and appreciate your good listening skills. It's really hard though, talking for me is like trying to work out at the gym with a weak and tired body. You can only do so much before you lose the energy, especially if there's barely any energy to begin with. My mental fatigue is something I live with every day and it's very hard. Hopefully someone else will come by and write some better advice.
 

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I sometimes have the opposite problem, like I have no control over my words and I just talk and talk forever haha. But I used to be a super shy person, I would always do what Kiwi said, ask people about themselves - movies and music they like, the weather, stuff about work.

Good for you for starting a new job. I tried to work a couple of months ago and only lasted 2 days, my anxiety was through the roof haha. Good luck!
 

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while in dp my only advice is almost the front thing....

get out to what you did before. I can only relate it to my own life, i've met big artists, friends, shop keepers, just kept what i know, said what i think, my friends I don't tell do not even notice, it's unbelievable, I feel robbed like someone stole me, but it turns out i had to tell my family, no one can see in your head. This of course isn't a thought pattern but in someways, in the lightest way possible, it's in your head. Terrible at explaining but you are still there, people aren't as good at reading your emotions or thoughts as i once thought.

I go to gigs and everyone acts like they did pre DP. I go to house parties and think "I AM DEAD" but i come away with numbers, new friends. You are still there, you just don't FEEL and EXPERIENCE it like you use to, i am blank, no thoughts, no emotions and somehow I still come across, so if i can, YOU can
 

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My speech is totally blocked. Lacking of ideas to say something, my words are sometimes incoherent,lacking of any association. I only gave small comments like a kid, my thoughts are complicated but my language skills are very simplistic.

I read a hundreds of book in science, religion and other stuff but when comes to express opinion in words I barely can say something. Like my mouth is locked.

Socializing doesnt work for me, I cant keep eye contact with anyone. My behavior is totally insecure and motion with no purpose, kinda very lost and always in thoughts. Like I'm not really living, just trapped in someone else body, no feeling emotion or any sense of joy or pleasure, except fear or dread and desperation. Like I'm having mountain on my chest.
 
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