I’m desperate. I don’t even know how I’m typing this. What I think is DPDR has literally stolen EVERYTHING from me. Just keeping my eyes open is second by second torment. I wake up in the morning absolutely dumbfounded and confused. The word is blurry and vignetted and it feels like my life takes place in time stamps. No fluidity. I just had a daughter and it doesn’t feel real. Nothing feels real. No emotional connection to anything. When I look in the mirror it feels like I’m standing in a room with a stranger that is staring at me. I’m ruining my family’s life. I don’t feel that I can last like this another week. I’ve had a CT scan of my head, two separate blood tests consisting of a Lyme test, lipid panels etc. ALL NORMAL. All actually GREAT. How could I have fucked myself up this bad? How can this be psychological? I feel like I only exist (barely) as the inner dialogue in my head which I’m constantly questioning cause I’m scared I’ll become schizophrenic or have a psychotic break. Or that I am already or have already. I’ve been to the ER twice, have seen three therapists (including Ben Meijer), two psychiatrists and have a prescription for Lexapro, Prozac (haven’t taken either), Ativan (tried two halves on two separate days, first one MAY have helped with anxiety) and klonopin (haven’t tried). It feels like my head is both completely full of thought, yet completely void of thought I can’t even tell anymore. It feels like every three seconds I have to remind myself of what I was doing, where I am, etc. The only reason I’m even alive and keep moving is because my brain can’t sleep for more than 7 hrs otherwise I would never want to wake up again. Can I PLEASE chat with someone on kik or Skype or something who has fully recovered from this after having symptoms this severe?