[Guest]

Hi everyone,

After a lot of thinking and reading, I think I've had this disorder my whole life. I just got off benzos and SSRI's after 8 years and the past two weeks have been a living hell without them. I'm really thinking of going back to an SSRI because I am in a constant severe state of d\r and d\p and the depression has become literally numbing. It's hard for me to do even the most basic things like showering.

I originally thought that all of this was due to benzo withdrawal and there is a site out there that has you believe benzos are the cause of everything, but now that my memory is back, I've realized I've had this my whole life - benzos or not. The people on that site are very anti-medication of all kind, but I'm at a point where I really can't suffer like this anymore, so I'm extremely close to going back on SSRIs because I think they provided some relief.

Is it common with this disorder to be very sensitive to everything? I've also had a really tough time in the past week with feeling like demons are chasing me, mild hallucinations, wondering if this is all just a dream and convincing myself that it is, fearing almost everything, agorophobia and other nasty symptoms. I don't know how much is benzo and ssri withdrawal and how much is just me, but I think that the biggest part, which is the derealization is just part of the way I am.

This being said, can ssri's provide relief from this debilitating state? I'm struggling so much and desperately looking for people who understand how I feel.

Thanks for any help

 

[Guest]

Another question - has anyone experienced a physical numbness? It seems that when I touch my skin, I can't really feel it. It's as if I'm touching someone else's skin and there is a marked absence of physical pain.

 

[kchendrix]

I don't know about the mild hallucinations.... could that be witdraw from the drugs? You told your doc about that? If so what did the doc say?

 

[Guest]

The mild hallucinations are really in my head - it's as if I can make one happen if that makes sense. It's like I can freak myself out enough to think that what I know is just a shadow is something more. Since I cold turkey'd off everything 2 weeks ago I haven't seen a doctor about being on meds.

 

[kchendrix]

That may be the majority of your problem.. From my experience and what I have read , you should always slowly wean yourself off any of thes meds, Once your body readjusts you may be alright, but you are supposed to gently withdraw from SSRI's not just quit taking them unless your Doc tells you different.

You definetly sound otherwise that DP/DR is where you are, but again maybe just withdraw from the drugs,, I would make contact with your DOc and tell him/her what you did...

Hope you feel better soon!

 

[Sojourner]

Cold turkey is known to cause unpleasant symptoms. Tapering off is the way to get off SSRIs.

Managing your own dosage without telling your doctor is never a good thing to do. Call him or her NOW.

 

[rainboteers]

You really need to go to the dr. about these symptoms and they will let you know if the SSRI can help. Hope you get feeling better real soon.

 

[Guest]

The scary thing is that I went off all of the meds while IN a psych ward - they said that there wouldn't be withdrawal - wrong. I can't get in to see a doctor until Monday, but I want to have an idea of whether or not to go back on an SSRI when I do see one. I've just been brainwashed into thinking all medications are bad by the benzo site I've been to, so I'm trying to see if anyone disagrees and has had good experiences with antidepressants helping your d\r and d\p. Thanks for all the help

 

[rainboteers]

I disagree celexa has helped me.

 

[dakotajo]

Hi,

You made the right move by getting off the benzo. They really have nothing long term to offer you except a worsening of symptoms and addiction.

I think you are doing the right thing by getting back on the ssri. Regardless of what you hear, ssris are a fairly benign drug and are a more intelligent approach for treating depression and anxiety. If you are still suffering from benzo withdrawal, the ssri may even help out. Id start with a low dose and slowly work your way back up to avoid the initial worsening of anxiety. Good luck

 

[ShyTiger]

Hi.
I have never been on meds but from what i have been told and from reading other posts i get the feeling that medication experiences are a highly individual thing. I do know going cold turkey can be extreamly unpleasnant. Finding what works for you is a good thing. What works for one wont for another and what doesnt work for one may well work for someone else. I think finding a good doctor is a great idea.
Also you may want to think about getting some coping strategies for your symptoms-as in the agoraphobia and dp ect(if you havnt already). I found for my agoraphobia cbt worked well but again its about finding what works for you. Also i think important too, that you try and find out what your triggers are and do work on that. The things behind the dp, agoraphobia ect.
I used to get the body numbness you talk about but it has not been around for a while. It used to come when i hyperventalated and just when i would get really stressed. I think that in the end i used to ignor it-got so used to the sensation that it ceased to bother me anymore.
Let us know how things go and i hope soon there is some relief for you.

ShyTiger

 

[livinginhell333]

bella-bella. i have the physical numbness as well. if i touch anything i don't feel it in my hands. if i touch my skin. don't feel myself sitting in chairs or lying in bed. body parts don't seem mine. sometimes i don't know where they are. i have been like this for a while and it sucks. being physically and emotionally numb and not feeling alive is just horrible.

 

[Dreamland]

I used to have the physical numbness, or detached from physical sensations, feeling too. It's very scary. I can clearly recall when lifting weights in the gym one day, after twelve reps on a certain routine I stopped feeling that burning pain you normally do. I felt like I could go on and it was a horrible feeling. Almost as if pain or physical sensations are not part of you anymore.

 

[[rula]]

From personal experience, what's gonna clear up your symptoms the fastest (all sound like text book cold turkey withdrawal from benzos) is getting back on the benzo. Then If/When you feel you're ready (mental prepardness plays a HUGE part), do a slow taper. The benzo board ppl might be a bit too hardcore, perhaps fall into the "wost case scenario" of ppl who took benzos, but they're still very knowledgable folks and will get you through a taper the right way.

SSRI's alone won't clear up the shock your body is having form the sudden lack of benzos in your blood. IMHO.

-ru

 

[bright23]

Bella ?

How'd it go with seeing a doctor today?

 

[Guest]

This is my experience with meds, maybe it will help: I've always had mild symptoms of dp, and i was on mega-doses of paxil and i stopped cold turkey and the morning after i stopped i woke up numb and very depersonalized. The numbness lasted a couple of months and now it's mostly gone although my body still feels strange. The dp/dr have decreased in severity but are still always there. What i noticed was that the depersonalization got worse before it got better.

 

[Guest]

Hi everyone - thanks for all the info. Every medical doctor, therapist and now a natural doctor I've talked to all think I'm going through both benzo AND SSRI withdrawal. They don't think it's really necessary to suffer like this, so the general recommendation is for me to go back on and SSRI for the remainder of the benzo withdrawal.

I'm a bit scared about which SSRI to take - I was on Lexapro for a year and a half before all this started, they switched me to Nortryptiline, then to Wellbutrin, then to Zoloft, which is what I was on when I tried to off myself. I'm a bit scared of going back on the Zoloft for that reason, but I have thought about just reinstating at a small dosage and seeing how I react to that. Now that all the meds are out of my body, I'll definitely know which med is doing what.

The benzo withdrawal is vicious though. I've come so far with it that I really don't want to go back - I may try the SSRI route and see if that helps.