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Hello so i recently broke up with a girlfriend i had for a year like a month ago, well she broke up with me.

It hurt me so bad. I couldn't and can't go anywhere we went together, and i obsess over it all, and have been just having hookups to try to forget but nothing feels right.

on my trip to barcelona with my school recently that lasted two weeks, i got with a really nice chinese girl. She is very pure, and I'm the first guy she has been with. I dont really like her enough to fight for her, i kind of have just been having fun, but she loves me.

i feel really bad but my ex just came back to me and wants me back. but the bad thing is i dont really feel that bad, but my ex wants me back.

i met up with my ex and kissed her.

i called the new girlfriend and told her everything that happened and that I'm confused about what to do.

she is asking me why I'm confused, if i loved her i wouldn't even be considering anything. But i dont know what i want.

also my father passed away 3 days ago and i dont even know what kind of state of mind I'm in.

i dont know if I'm a bad guy. i kissed my ex while having this girl.

the new chinese girl is very heartbroken.

i dont feel that bad, i dont know why, and i feel bad about not feeling bad.

any suggestions?
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