[M1k3y]

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Goodnight all

 

[M1k3y]

I know ima get some comments saying I said some shit over and over again, I'm just trying to say everything I can to help everyone get better, this has helped me man; and I repeat myself a lot in here; I'm just stressing because the things I repeat, I think it can help u

I am living a decent life right now, please don't make any harsh comments about what I have revealed, uhm I'm kinda laying my brain and thoughts on the line, in hope that maybe it can help
Someone,

Please no harsh comments man, I made this to try to help
Anyone

 

[M1k3y]

Edit: I have reread, if u gave up please; the part in the topic we're it looks like this

--

OK TOPIC STARTS NOW

^^^ that part is we're I start saying some more stuff; I think I repeated a lot of the same stuff in the beginning

Also rereading I feel like I come off as a douche saying I got laid like that's important

I'm a young man, and for some reason u know trying to get girls is like what I want to do, I ain't the greatest at it but u know, some stuff I mentioned help me feel more normal and confident kinda like my old self, and maybe my wants in life are different from urs, my wants are stupid.. wanting to get high and party and have a good ass time, I do that sometimes, like once in a blue moon, I also have my shit together, I have taken my job to another level, I said if any I can control, u know I CAN control me working hard as fuck, and man, I just worked my tail off, and that's all I really focused on for awhile, so if nothing is going ur way, pick something u can control, like working hard, maybe climbing up the ladder, uhm maybe u can control ur health, anything ur really passionate about; don't let this time waste; I know it's hard; but pick something u can control, and progress in life

Like I said I struggled with my mental health, but it didnt stop me from working my ass off; yes I have been extremely anxious at work, just gotta keep pushing and progress in life, don't let this stop u from exceeding man, u can progress somewhere

And this dp has helped me somewhat, before I got dp, I didn't really give a fuck about my career, I was 20, and all I did want to do was party, and get fucked up, pretty much being a total loser, and with this dp, I was like man, my social life ain't going where I want it to be, I can control my work life and progress in there hard, and they say the job I have, it takes 2 years to be on ur own, man I have accomplished this hard as fuck job in 8 months, and anyone can do it, u just have to try hard and really want to do it, it really helps when ur doing something u enjoy and can see it being ur future, like in 8 months I can do this job on my own, I am blessed to have my dad as the owner.. yeah that is cheating.. but I mean I work so hard man, and I care for his business and one day want to have a business like his, because of my hard work, and it's not because I'm the son of the owner, people know I have busted my ass off, I'm kinda a assistant manager now, goal is to keep getting better, to be the best of all time at this job, to be a Manager one day, and own a business just like my dad, I am blessed to have that benefit, cause I can go into this business whenever I feel like it and just work my ass off even on the hours I'm not suppose to be there, I'm there for free sometimes just to get better at this job, I hope I don't come off as bragging or anything, I just hope to help u maybe find anything u can and enjoy and progress in life, don't let this crap just hold u back, u can do something in ur life and progress, like I said, having this mental problem, it made me focus on getting better at my job and hopefully I'll be semi successful one day, before this mental problem; like I said man, I didn't give a fuck about a career man, just want to get wasted and that was it, total loser I was man, and I didn't even appreciate life, life is so great
Man, but like I stated again, even though I didn't care for a career which is terrible; that was something I thought I could do and my mental issues wouldn't stop me, I mean working hard for me, my mental issues ain't gonna stop me from working hard, so I'm glad from this mental things I've been going through, I found something I enjoy right now, and I'm not wasting away

And i truly believe if I didn't have these mental things, man, my relationship with my family was so terrible, I was being such a loser and hated life, didn't appreciate it

I have now gotten a relationship back with my parents, kinda back on the right track and trying to be successful, I did fall off the wrong track, but I hope I got back on the good track again

And like I have said in this topic, I ain't proud, but tonight, I drank, I smoked weed, I did fucking extacy man, I never done that, and I did fucking coke man I've never done that shit either man; I did all these drugs today man, it's been like 5 hours since I did them, and I'm fine man, no problems getting worse, just like how any normal person would be; anybody without our problems can do all these drugs like I did and be chill the next day, and I feel like the medicine combo that has worked for me and maybe will work for u to, idk man, I think that combo has put some chemical in my brain not to freak out or something, just to be a tad normal

And I'm not happy about saying I did those things this night, I don't recommend anyone doing it, I'm just a fucking idiot, but I'm not gonna let doing that stuff stop me from being successful in my job, I don't plan on doing all those stupid drugs all the time, like I said
Maybe once in a blue moon just for the hell of it.. but my success is first, and before it was just being a loser and getting wasted all the time, now it's work on my career first, be happy with the friends and family around me, basketball on my spare time makes me happy, and partying and having a wild experience like this night doing that once in awhile, I Mean I think that's not bad

I don't suggest doing any drugs btw, I smoke weed regularly, but I tell everyone, don't smoke it, cause I Mean, it cool, I like it, but I don't want to persuade anyone in doing a drug or drinking,

And I don't think I said this, or maybe I have, I reread where I said I got laid this night, finally mayne lmao, and it's cause my mental issues made me not confident, and finally I had a decent night, people thought I was normal, had a chill fun time man, and like I said, being a young man, idk getting a girl is a goal, my brother thinks that's a stupid goal, idk man, I respect all girls and stuff, just being a stupid idiot male.. I'm just happy saying that cause it showed me that u know, I can communicate with someone, and maybe one day have a Girlfriend again, and makes me happy and one day have a family and a kid

Cause I thought with my mental problems, no girl would want me, and if I had a Kid, I wouldn't be in the right mindset to raise him the best I can, and today just showed, u know, I can communicate with
People, and I'm building to be confident and more focus so I can one day have a Good relationship and if I have a kid, raise him the best I can man, make him the best damn man I can, raised with respect man, do as I say not as I do, cause I do some not cool stuff
Man, and if I have a daughter, love her to death, be a great father to her, make sure she knows to pick a Good man and not A bum like me lmao, I'm a bum right now.. hopefully I straighten up, atleast I kinda know it

I'm just speaking my brain right now.. sorry if this is weird to some of u, I usually just think to myself, but just wanted to try to share some of my thoughts, maybe to try to help or something

 

[M1k3y]

Lots of people feel better on ADHD medication or when they're high on weed, regardless of DP. I think DP puts people in a slump where they don't want to try anything, and where uninformed doctors generally want to shut the DP'd patients up, but there are still many treatments to try, drugs and otherwise, that have real potential to help.

No drugs target the DP symptoms, but many, many people's DP is secondary to some other condition. It's possible that all cases of DP are, but who knows?

It's possible you have what's been deemed 'ADHD,' which I've heard might be a condition of chronically low dopamine, and that would explain why the Adderall helps. Be careful with the dosage, though, because some people just think, "Adderall good," and become tweakers. It's also better to get a script than to use someone else's script or than shopping on the black market.

As for the "partying like a rockstar," I'm pretty strongly against the idea of compulsively doing whatever drugs happen to be around, legal or otherwise. What drugs were you using when your DP was first triggered? I was misprescribed clonazepam for a long time and then was negligently withdrawn from it after an insurance change.

My mental problems I feel was triggered from a terrible night, pretty much me self destructing with rage, and I don't know why, yes I did u know smoke weed that night, but I feel like me being in rage, hating life so much that night, being drunk and kinda suicidal, being unhappy with my relationship, just so much on my mind, and at the time I didn't like smoking weed, I did it cause I didn't like the feeling at the time, did it cause I didn't like myself, as if this is what I get

I don't recommend any drugs either, I do still have mental problems, but in my topic, since I started taking a ssri, and then one day was like fuck it and smoked weed out of boredom, uhm it didn't negatively effect me anywhere, I kinda had a depressing night that day, actually a few days back to back, and smoking out of the blue, idk it like kinda lifted my emotions,

Not claiming weed is good or anything, but that day I tried it in a
Long time, the next day I didn't have any side effects, so I started doing it because it hasn't done anything negative to me,

I will say I do it now sometimes out of boredom, just smoke a
Little bit just cause I don't have much else to do, but for me, not saying it will help anyone, but for all of us who have smoked weed, we know it makes u think, and for some reason I like it cause it jogs my mind a bit, make me think of stuff in a different perspective, sometimes slowing the word down, analyzing my problems and why I do them, I can't say smoking weed has helped anything, it sometimes lifts my mood a bit and I like that it makes me think a little bit and relax, feel a bit different, I don't recommend anyone doing it, like I said it hasn't effected me bad, and if it did, I would stop ASAp, I don't recommend doing anything to damage ur mental, we're already fragile up there

Also man, I just remember something.. a few weeks ago, me and my brother had the house to ourselves, parents gone, it was late at night, he invited his girlfriend over, and I was like, fuck man I'm doing something I always wanted to do which was smoke in my house lmao; well I did and I got pretty messed up drinking beer, it put me in a really funny mood cause I was enjoying just how
Messed up I was lmao, and I got happy and I was by myself in the garage doing this, u kno I have been super shy seeing people with my issues, but being high as hell and drunk as hell I didn't give a fuxkkkk, I wanted to run into my brothers room and mess with him just cause I was happy and bored, but as soon as I got close to his room, this crazy ass anxiety I can't even explain or control just came over me, and like I felt it happening, I was like my normal self alone in my garage being drunk, but once I got close to people, my social anxiety just shot up like crazy, and I never really noticed it like that, just kinda made me realize, all we go through man is anxiety, and that's pretty much it man, have to figure how to get rid of it, cus when I was careless drunk man I was like my normal self thinking, and as soon as I got close to my brothers room to talk, I noticed ASAP this crazy scared feeling just over come me, kinda blocked my natural thoughts, blocked my natural reactions, idk that day just showed me it's just anxiety..

And a lot of people just say keep busy and forget about it, I mean I think the enhancements I'm doing r helping me keep busy, and the ssri has helped me feel a bit normal,

Idk man, I don't have the answer to being cured, I'm trying to say everything I have realized about it to maybe help some people try stuff, but the combo I said in my topic, I mean like I said life ain't bad man because of it, and I was such in a bad mental place, like terrible man, and now it's decent again, livable, and I feel like this is a step to getting better, like I said, I don't care how long the journey is left, I'm having a good time with life right now, just trying to maybe spread what has helped me to maybe help others, and from a lot of the "cured" stories I've read, they always say, live
Life man, let go, do what u want to do, keep busy, and what I've said has help me do those things a lot of people say to do to get better; and like I said, live in alright right now, and I think that's good man cause I don't care if I get better, we'll of course I do, but we're I'm at right now, living life good, and that can only progress me without even trying, just wanted to spread some stuff that
Might help anyone, I think ima get off this site, we'll get through this guys, I hope maybe I can maybe help anyone a tiny bit man,

Obviously don't do the dumb stuff I've stated, that's never good, and some people r against medicine, but I've said man I myself have exhausted any other method, doesn't mean those other methods won't work for u guys, but this method I'm doing right now has been the best one I've tried so far, and don't plan on stopping it, I just believe this is just helping me be calm and live life easier, and doing that should lower my anxiety to be healthy again, and if it doesn't, we'll I'm living life okay man

 

[M1k3y]

Alright I hope to not come back here for a Minute

For the to lazy to read people, not saying it will work, but from some research and stuff, it seems to sometimes benefit

Tltr: I got on a ssri that worked for me, u will know it's the right one, I knew because the ones that didn't work for me made me feel weird and high, I gave them all a good chance, like 2 to 3 weeks, u should see some improvement

I know I found a good ssri for me because I didn't make me feel weird, it almost made me feel more normal, actually it does make me feel more normal, and gave me my normal energy, that I didn't even kno I lost, since taking it; I've been doing the stuff I enjoyed again, it's like the natural effort is there again, I want to do these things, instead of me feeling like never doing anything

So that's how I knew I found a decent ssri for me, also adderall has helped enhance me of more energy, kind makes me focus more, and kinda maybe has boosted my confidence a tad, to we're I once was at,

I started adderall cause some guy said he took it and it made him keep busy in his life, eventually keeping busy all the time, he forgot he had dp, he hasn't had adderall since

And he's free from his mental problems, and being prescribed adderall, I can some what see what he meant man,

Life is okay, I'm not even caring about getting over this crap, cause life isn't bad man and I'm finally living a decent life again, and I feel like that's a good step to u know just not spazzing our anymore

How I see it, life is livable right now, means I'm having a good time, means maybe naturally I'll just get better, and I just don't even care about this bullshit anymore, I'm getting off this site man, I hope to try to help some of u,

If u have lost fate, man I thought I would never feel decent again man, everyone's time will come

In my post I showed my enhancements that has helped me feel better man, I pray pray pray it helps u to man

Keep pushing guys.. hopefully talk to u guys again soon and we'll all be feeling fresh again,

Keep pushing maynes

 

[M1k3y]

That's true, life circumstances played a big part for me too. I was also going through a rough time when my DP started.

I'm glad you've accepted that you have the DP and that, at the same time, you're still interested in recovering from it. That seems to be the best combination, based on what the older users on this forum say.

I think we can still do whatever we put our minds to, and the older users would probably agree with that too. Feeling weird or anxious, we can still do all kinds of worthwhile things. I'm glad you're feeling better, dude.

Thanks man, I hope u r feeling good to man, and yes for awhile I just focused on the things I could control, and to me that was trying to pursue a good job,
And like I said man, I'll be praying for everyone on this site, we will all get over this
Please everyone start feeling better
And another I think it's best to get off this site man, find something and try it and leave this website, I feel kinda bad just being here,
Just pray guys, be good souls man, and just conquer fears, and if u exhausted everything, maybe try this option, idk I hope it works wonders for the people who may try it, love u all

 

[M1k3y]

Wish I could get some weed, those were the days when I was my happiest. Weed did not cause whatever I have now, I haven't smoked in 7 years. I developed this shit just over a month ago.

Keep ur head up man, when I first got this bullshit I was scared to tell the people close to me, if u haven't I think u should man, they can only understand and support, I don't want to push anyway for u to go to get better,

I just suggest be open with ur friends man, if u see ur self starting u naturally not want to do anything, just doing the old stuff u use to enjoy and u don't do any of that stuff, I ain't a doctor but I'd recommend a ssri, it helped me have some normal ness back, anyways I hate seeing people get this crap,

But I just think be close with ur family man, and I don't want to push it, I was so against medicine, it has kinda helped me man, and I only say that cus I want to help people get over this stuff man

Find a route, even talk to a doctor, u don't have to take his medicine but it's good to hear what they have to say, don't read the scary bullshit stories in here man, find a route, continue with life, keep on living and striving