my thoughts, do they look like DP or DR?

I hope that yet another effort to describe my thoughts is tolerable. If not, well, I am out of luck. I think that the following text is the best description for today.

Saying it in a phrase: Things are taking place, but I am cut off from the whole procedure

My thoughts are weird. Not the issues, but the process itself.

Like there is something wrong but I cannot become more specific. It's like my thoughts have no base. I will define base: a completely stable place, a center of acceptances that every other thought begins from. Something that cannot be shaked in no way. A place where you can step on and start to move on other things.

My consideration/regard about the world, myself, and all the things I percieve are like absent, or have very small impact on my mind in order to charactirize them "realistic" (I have a reason for not using the word "real").

The meanings, the objects. the people, are not familiar, or the familiarity is changing face/type and I cannot catch up.

I am usually in a kind of sleep, where there is something like an assurance ("I assure you") about incidents and their impact. Here is an attempt to make an image of my feeling: I am standing on a soft pillow but the pillow is hovering above the void nothingness).

On some other moments, the incidents feel like awfully strange, and somtimes this is escorted by a changing of the colours' contrast of my vision. Examples of incidents: a raindrop, an explosion, or me calling a friend with his name.

I am in doubt of every single description I make about my condition. I usually absorb any abnormalities that I notice and keep myself in this "sleep" I mentioned above. There are times I am saying "this", but other times that I am saying "that" (instability between descriptions, but there are boundaries on the variety of descriptions). All this time, I am thinking that descriptions were not correct.

If I could, I would start every phrase of this description with "I think that...". But it would be "too much".

I have no way to confirm my thoughts. The weight of my things is varying.

Sometimes (like now) I don't actually believe that I am living. I have this thought (or rather "feeling") that I have been in my bed for the last few years, and all the things I see, hear, and do (like writing this text right now) is a delusion.

When I notice an incident and turn my focus on it, it's essense is changing in a strange way: like it never existed. Examples of such incidents: I understand a meaning, something that I recently learned (knowledge of something, like biology), someone tells me some news, someone agrees with me.

I am forgeting my past descriptions of my symptoms or I remember them but it feels like there weren't mine descriptions.

By the time I got writing till this point, I had forgoten what I had written so far.

Feels like I am touching only the surface of things.

The reasons that I do things, always involves a level of fogginess.

Sometimes I have no motive to do things that are necessary, like eat, answer the phone, etc.

I am 70% confused. This means that there are things that I can keep doing, and apparently, what is preventing me to do things is the lack of "pleasure" that I recieve from the world.

When I read my text again it was feeling very distant from the things that I wrote.

I can predict that if anyone sais "I can relate to this" I will instantly stop believing that I have that "symptom".