[MrFedUp]

As I have now chronically suffered with this condition for 3 years I'm going to try and break it down and see if other people share the same view as me ? This is only my opinion which everybody is entitled to.

So I'm 22 years old - and when I was 19 years old is when it started gradually. When I was 19 my home life was very very stressful and had been for 3/4 years already so from 15/16. This was due to having a parent with both mental and physical health issues. I will not go into details - but for any 15-19 year old to see what I saw in those 4 years was like something from a horror movie. HOWEVER - as soon as I stepped out of my home no one would know what our family was going through. I went clubbing , on lads holidays and never really spoke about what I was going through.

When I turned 19, my dad had an operation which was supposed to fix his health which in part it did , but we then found out he was an alcoholic

. 19 also being the age in which my DP started happening daily and I felt "detached" and "not as clever/fast".

At this point I remember thinking " I can't do this anymore I've had 5 years of stress with my dad and it's a living hell".

Aswell as having my own health issues (heart problem) and also suffering from (chronic pain syndrome) which also started when I was 19 !

So when I was 19 something in my brain "flicked". My consciousness levels dropped considerably and I never woke up again feeling 100% alert.

My brain now wrapped in a protective layer ( as I imagine it). My emotions now NON Existant except one . ANGER.

Fast forward 2 years and after several different approach types such as medication , CBT, lifestyle changes and diet changes nothing has even made a dent . I wake up on a daily basis feeling like 75% of my brain is still asleep and never woke up. It never wanted to turn back on , it's shut down it can't cope anymore.

With this , I assumed a talking therapy such as CBT would help me , or mybe just sitting with a physcologist and Talking about my life and what I've exwoeriwnced would work. Maybe talking it out and re living what I went through. But nothing .

My brain switched itself of to protect it from any further emotional trauma. Now , I live with my girlfriend , have a job and nice house and a boxer dog. But nothing , I'm still on a 25% level of consciousness.

I feel drunk , dazed and spaced out. It's worse when I'm tired , in the dark , artificial lighting or driving.

I look fine , well , successful for my age and job , and look like I have a good life.

Someone somewhere MUST know how to get this reversed. To "flick the switch" back to being conscious. I can't even feel wind on my face when I'm outside Ffs.

And people say "just don't think about it it'll go" for me that's bullshit . It's deeper , much deeper. Some people on here must have a similar story to me , living this life is painful and sad.

I hope and pray one day a cure is found for this condition. This for me is not "life" this is "spectating" someone elses.

What makes it worse is when in the evening I'm sat so spaced out , it reminds me of my drunk father sat drunk and spaced out in the arm chair. It's like history repeating itself, except I haven't touched alcohol for 3 years.

One day we may get an answer. One day????

 

[London]

I can relate to this. My DP was definitely trauma/stress induced and not drug induced like the majority. I noticed you're in the UK like me. As good as the NHS is, the majority of CBT practitioners aren't really that good as it's such a delicate science. Unless you're wealthy, a Harley Street Psychiatrist might be out of your reach for the quality therapy.

'. 19 also being the age in which my DP started happening daily and I felt "detached" and "not as clever/fast".' - THIS IS ME. LIKE MY BRAIN IS WRAPPED IN CLING FILM. I totally empathise.

I have recently stumbled upon a program by a psychologist called Jordan Peterson - long story short, he's good and has a program that you fill out online that helps you make sense of your past. Check it out;

. It's very therapeutic and might help you. It includes similar exercises that the infamous Harris Harrington outlines in his series.

I have tried everything including diet / supplements / exercise and they all help but they don't fix the issue. I think there is something in our past that we haven't processed. This board is getting closer to the answer I think and the PTSD injections thread is something I'm following closely.

Goodluck

 

[eddy1886]

Honestly because its literally like a switch flicking and so instant I believe at the heart of it is a chemical imbalance that is caused by a tiny bit of damage in the brain that either trauma, stress or illicit drugs have caused....A combination of these in my own case...

I believe we are all predisposed to being worriers and stress heads and just a little too much has caused for want of a better term "something to pop" inside our brain tissue...Literally in an instant.....The result is this f****d up condition

 

[zimmerman83]

I've had this on and off since my early twenties, so pretty much 10 years. Unfortunately I have it again now.

It's very difficult to describe the sensation. I guess my head feels stuffy or 'fulI' and it's like I'm in a bubble or a fish bowl most of the time, or that I've been whacked in the head and I'm dazed/spaced out.

Like you I find artificial lights harsh on my eyes, and whereas I don't like very loud noises my hearing is fine, so it's mainly just my eyes that cause me issues. To expand on that, when I try to move my eyes around to focus on objects it's as if there's a 1-2 second delay for my eyes to lock on, and the focus is never 100% there. The strange thing is that when I watch television I'm absolutely fine, but at all other times I feel like my brain needs re-calibrating to get it back to 100% focus, so I definitely relate when you mention 25% consciousness. Incidentally my actual eye sight is fine (I've had several eye tests over the years).

I think the condition is definitely stress or anxiety induced and exacerbated by drinking - not necessarily heavily either. Like yourself I'm a social person, I have a good life and I cope well in a social or work setting, so GAD is not the cause for me, but with that said I have had anxieties over my health in the past, which is a completely different type of anxiety IMO. My current bout of DP came on again about 1 month ago when I was in a negative thought pattern over my health (and drinking a lot), so I suspect if you've spent a long time thinking about your heart or chest pains etc, then this is no doubt the root cause, or contributing factor for your DP.

In terms of a 'cure,' I've haven't had this perpetually for 10 years, so the good news is that there are times when it's not there. Either that or it seems like it's gone because you're not paying attention to it. I can't control it, but I've learnt to manage it. My strategy is to just try and forget about it and go about my everyday life without paying it any attention. I accept is a difficult concept to grasp, but if you don't feed it your thoughts and you just get on with then it should eventually go away. And it's not like you just wake up one day and think, "oh my dp has gone", but you won't be thinking about it and won't notice it, if that makes sense.

Would be interesting to hear if anyone else has similar symptoms to mine and whether you've also been able to switch off from it.

Cheers

 

[MrFedUp]

Thankyou for the reply guys , very interesting reads