[M1k3y]

at this point i dont even kno if im dp'd or whatever

i dont think the world around me is not real, i dont have weird thoughts or weird questionings, sometimes i do but like 1 second i think of em i just brush em off and tell myself, dont be dumb, u kno whats what and its a dumb thought

but other then that

i think i just have some weird anxiety and maybe depression?

i dont know man, i cant seem to think, someone can ask me a simple question, and my mind is blank, like nothing pops up

its weird

when im on my own i think normally

shit just flowing like normal

but when people talk, my personality goes out the door

but if i try like talking, its like what i said isnt a good response, like it had to connection on what they said,

and i try to talk from my heart, or feel what im saying

so i do this weird thing, and i talk doing this weird thing cus it feels like i feel what im saying but

people respond back to it like its weird, like im just saying statements?

like if someone said

what would u like to order

i way say

i would like a cheeseburger

and thats all

and thats what my feeling says, but there response is sometimes no response, so i dont kno whats happening

it really sucks

and i went over to my girlfriends this morning

and back in the day when i didnt have this bullshit

i was like the fun guy, like id go over, talk to her mom, her mom use to like me a lot, now she tells my gf to break up with me like everyday

which i think is fucked up, just cus someone is on there downfall u dont just break up with them, thats not what love is, and my girlfriend has stuck by my side, very blessed to have that

but anyways

yeah i was like the funny guy and would talk a lot

and her little brothers would look up to me

and i came over today and it was like

everyone is having fun and talking a 100 miles per hour

and im just here

thoughtless, clueless

no fun at all

im just jealous

i remember use to being able to talk freely

but now nothing pops up in my head

im starting prozac 2marro

i read that someone said it cleared there thoughts up

which im praying to god it will for me

and i can commuticate once again

and also im gonna be santa this christmas

i aint scared at all

but damn i wanna be a good santa haha

anyways thats my life

i dont have a job so i just stare at the wall waiting for the next day trying to get better

hoping my medication is working

yup life is good