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My symptoms...anybody have any in common?

5989 Views 12 Replies 5 Participants Last post by  livinginhell333
My symptoms:

- Constant visual disturbances (such as intensified colors, 2D images, floaters, trails, negative afterimages) that have been a 24/7 problem with no relief since this started, over a year and a half ago.
- A constant emotional numbness.
- feelings of nothing being real, or feeling as if everything around me is in my head, or that I'm hallucinating it.
- Time lapses, or feeling as though time slows down. This especially intensifies when im in a certain place for a long time. For example, it'll be 11am, and ill think back to something that happened at like 8am, and itll literally feel like it happened weeks ago. Very frusterating and hard to explain, but if you have this symptom youll know what I mean.
- feelings of not being here or being invisible, constant feelings of deja vu.
- Inability to focus or consentrate on anything for any length of time.
- Inability to stay in one place for any long length of time. Feeling like I have to get up and walk around or get away. Having to take constant breaks in doing anything.
- No chemistry with anyone. Seeing people as more of automated machines than human beings.
- Cant read well. Words seem to distort and I cant focus on the letters.
- Intensification under flourescent or bright lighting.

And then there are the physical symptoms, which come and go.
- headaches, eye aches, backaches, numbness in my head, arms, legs.

These are the main symptoms...the ones that are (aside from the physical symptoms) with me all of the time, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, with no relief whatsoever. I'd really appreciate it if you'd list your major symptoms to see which ones we have in common - or even to see which ones we dont. This way maybe we'd be able to help one another and share different coping skills.
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my symptoms are very similar..
some of the main ones are:
- constant feeling of numbness, sometimes just touching my face feels so unreal and like i'm touching air
- feelings of hopelessness and not interested in very much in life
- extreme difficulties trying to concentrate on anything for prolonged periods of time, sometimes at all
- i constantly feel like i'm in a dream and have the deja vu thing alot where everything feels like it's happened before or as if i'm foreseeing something
- something that happened earlier in the week can feel like it happened seconds ago, years ago, or not at all. time is really demented for me.
- i am kind of nervous and anxious nearly all the time. and when i'm not feeling very anxious, i'm really just 'out of it'
- my emotions and feelings have extreme highs and crashing lows. like, one minute i will be energetic and hyper, then the next i am exhausted and feel sick. or one second i am very happy, and the next i want to die.
- trying to think of who,or where i am just makes my derealization symptoms worse
- i see things usually like they are very flat, sometimes blurry, and usually shimmer.

those are just some of my main dr/dp symptoms. i also have alot of anxieties and things like that.
my dr/dp started when i was around 9 years old. i am 13 now, going on 14. at first it just started every once in a while and i would only feel unreal for maybe a minute or so, then it got a tad bit worse after i started middle school. and in 6th grade, not long after i started menstruation[oh god female stuff] i had my first panic attack. i had no idea what it was at the time, until i started experiencing more often and someone told me about it. i was a severe hypochondriac for a while.
but now, i am a bit more concerned with my mental issues, than physical issues.
and dp/dr just kept getting worse until now. and its been about the same intensity for the past few months. :roll:
hopefully someone else can relate.
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oh and i have never done drugs, and everything just sort of happened mysteriously. so yeah. i have no clue why i feel like this all the time.
For one so young you surely do express yourself very, very well. :wink:

If it helps any, know that some very stable, very intelligent, and very 'intuitive' people have this....almost without exception. I've just about decided based on posts I've read here, that everyone that has this 'condition' is unique although they don't see it that way themselves.

There are some books out there by a couple of peoople who experienced this back in the 80's before the term 'Depersonalization Disorder' was even invented. Their stories are very similar.

One was a nun, although not the entire time. She was what is known as a 'Christian Contemplative.' You can google that, maybe, and see what that means. But she's very intelligent and not all sappy religioius, if you know what I mean.

The other was just an ordinary, but intelligent, lady that was into transcendental meditation. Note that both of these ladies were into a 'meditation' type practice. One called it 'contemplative' and the other called it 'TM'. :wink:

The lady that was into TM was 'hit' with DP while standing on a street corner waiting for bus. Just minding her own business, doing ordinary stuff. No big deal and WHAM! The name of her book is "Collision with the Infinite." Very readable and you will probably be able to relate to her experiences.

The nun wrote 3 books on her experiences. The first one was "The Experience of No-Self." The second was "The Path to No-Self" and the last one was "What is Self?" Her books put the experiences in the context of an 'awakening' of sorts. She puts things kind of in a 'Christian' orientation but it's still very readable and interesting if you're not put off by Christian references from time to time.

All of these were very reassuring to me when I discovered them many years ago. There was nothing else around, that I could find, that even remotely touched on what was happening so they were a very welcomed 'hand to hold.' :wink:

Hang tough. There is more to this stuff than meets the eye. You may very well be on the edge of an understanding that you just can't relate to right with just about everybody on this forum.

Another way to look at this: lots of people have very debilitating illnesses or physical disabilities whether from birth or some trauma in life. It's either deal with it or 'implode.' Have courage!! Hug yourself inside. You'll be okay. :)[/quote]

thank you, and thanks for taking the time to say all of that to me. I will certainly check those books out. :)
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