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So I've been on this forum a couple of weeks now and I figured it's about time I introduce myself.
So the onset of my anxiety and dp was about 2 months ago after stupidly trying what my friend called a "thc infused beverage". It tasted mostly like fruit juice. For reference I have only had a few experiences with cannabis over my lifetime (I'm 32) and I never had any issues with it. That being said I would take only one or 2 hits and probably didn't even inhale. Prior to this drink I had a candy that gave me that nice high with no side effects other than grogginess the next day.
The experience I had with this drink is hard to describe but I will try. Me and my 2 best friends all had one each. One of my friends is a long time smoker so I trusted her judgement that it would be fun. My other friend smoked occasionally and he had a horrible reaction that cleared up within 24 hours.
I remember the night pretty well. I felt the affects within 10 minutes. It felt strong but I wasn't worried. I decided not to even finish the drink. My one friend however pretty much had to be taken home. So after that my pothead friend and I decide to end the night early and grab some food. I remember driving and blanking out for a second losing time and it kinda scared me. But the entire night I didn't have anything like a panic attack.
I just remember mostly time moving slowly. Feeling out of phase. What I assumed was a normal high but strong for someone with my tolerance. I had my ex stay with me for the night and the next day I remember being really concerned that I didn't feel well at all.
That's when the nightmare began. I started googling and scared myself pretty bad. But I still chose to remain as calm as I could. I couldn't eat and thought it was just a weed hangover. I started telling my closest friends about it and they were mostly concerned about how long the effects lasted. After a week I had my first night of insomnia and decided to go to the doctor. They just did a regular blood and urine tests. Nothing came back besides high blood sugar. (I am overweight but trying to get my health in order, lost 25lbs with this and it might have been the wake up call I needed)
The first 2 weeks were hell and so confusing. I want to be clear that I have never in my whole life dealt with anxiety or depression or insomnia. Not a coffee drinker. I could sleep like a log anytime I wanted. As a full grown adult this has been terrifying to adjust to and think that I might have ruined my life.
The thoughts! I won't get into it but my goodness.
So where I stand today is I have some ok days and I have some really bad days. Every time I thought I was getting better something would happen to tell me hell no. I've tried eating a little better although my appetite still comes and goes. I've tried practicing better sleep hygiene thinking sleep is a good way to heal my brain. That has gotten better but still very much a struggle. It seems my dreams in the early morning hours give me mini panic attacks. I feel hyper aware of everything. I might have a little ocd about things. Thoughts never stop. But I don't think my case is the most severe. I don't know if I should be hopeful that means I'll be recovered sooner or not. There are times at night when I feel the most at peace that I know I'll get back to myself. But every morning is like hell just to get out of bed.
So that's my story. I've read so many stories on here of people recovering especially from marijuana so I am hopeful. I don't want to go on medication but if I really feel like I have to I will. I so appreciate that this forum exists. I was once a carefree person, super lucky to never have dealt with anxiety or depression. I call it blissful ignorance but you can't go back in time. Any advice or insight is much appreciated.
 

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Hello Hopeful,

In all honesty you just gotta go with it and not worry about how you got here but how you're gonna adapt. I personally don't want to take medication either as I've been trying to deal with this by keeping myself busy and out of my head as much as I can, rather not have to rely on a medication even though people swear by it. Not that I don't trust them haha.

If you do however get worse then medication is definitely a viable option as you've most likely read on here. If you want someone to talk to about thoughts and issues I'm always open.
 
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