My story

Hi, I'm norahtheexplorah and I'm 18 years old.

I don't know if it's derealization or depersonalization I have but I've felt disconnected to my body for more than a year now.

It started last June. I was on my way to catch a train when I had a panic attack. I felt really strange in the morning and then I just had a panic attack and it just made me feel really weird and shaky. But that was just iron defiency and after a few months I still remembered that panic attack and it shook me up quite a lot so I just started checking up on if I felt connected or not. Around that time I also cut ties with my closest childhood friends and that was and still is extremely hard for me. I find myself constantly pushing the thought of them away. And I was bullied when I was younger and I thought that I moved from that but thoughts of the bullying have also been reappearing more frequently. And I've also been getting a lot of pressure from my family with school since they have like extremely high expectations from me. And it has been terrible for me I've cried countless times. And now I've just shut my feelings cause its too hard to deal with all of this with letting go of my friends and try to get good grades. I don't go out as often cause it had gotten scarier cause I don't really feel like I'm in my body...

I'm a senior in high school now and I honestly don't know how I'm gonna cope with all of this constant stress and worrying and this feeling of not being connected to my body..

Does anybody have any advice or tips?