[Guest]

I had a happy and wonderful childhood. I remember clearly one summer day in my grandmother's swimming pool when I was 11 feeling very strangely, the opposite of deja vue. I felt like I had left and came back and perhaps missed some time. That summer I also started having migraines (as well as menstrating). Tests ruled out seizures but no one seemed to have an answer as to why I was having these weird "out of it" spells. They came and went throughout the next 15 years, just becoming a part of who I was, not interferring in my life, just a weird little fluke of me. When I was in labor and giving birth I found the detached unreal feeling I was familar with in small doses very powerfully. Then in 1997 I passed out at the wheel driving one hot summer day on a major highway. When I came to the car was out of control in the media, as I tried to regain control I was back on the busy highway spinning out, fully expecting to be hit at any minute. I had those feelings of not being ready to die--my children and husband still needing me here. Amazingly, all of the traffic stopped in time, and I was not even hurt--physically that is. That incident triggered my DP/DR so horribly and so permanantly that I could barely function. After months of seeking help, neurological testing and such, I was finally diagnosed with DP/DR. What a burden was lifted knowing I wasn't just going crazy! Not that anyone could offer me any real help, but just that step of knowing I wasn't alone was a help. I have never tried any drug treatments because I have been pregnant and/or breastfeeding for the last 12 years. #6 is due in Dec. and I believe that will be our caboose. I still struggle most of the time. The most I have ever gone is a few weeks without an "episode". Memory problems are terrible, triggers for DP/DR include stress, adrenaline rush, fluorescent lights, too much stimuli (amusement parks kill me as well as the grocery store at night), lack of sleep, sickness, dehydration, and so on. And then of course there are times when everything is wonderful and peaceful and I can be suffering horribly. Perhaps the worse thing to happen this past year is my 11 yo daughter described her strange feelings to me and described the symptoms of DP perfectly. It broke me heart.
Anyway, enough from me. Life goes on and I do the best I can despite the constant torture. Please LMK if I can help anyone in any way.