[lyssy]

I have been reading these posts for the last few months but have never actually written one myself. Now is as good of time as any.

I smoked with my friend in middle September and had a horrible high/panic attack that lasted about an hour. (At the time I was also depressed over a break up with my boyfriend of a year that happened in late August ). The next day I felt bad but knew soon I would feel like myself which I did.

Then a month later, October, I started feeling really weird. One day at school (im a senior) I found myself in the bathroom freaked out wondering how I even got there. As Halloween came the symptoms of Dp/Dr became worse and worse and I had to leave school because I felt "like a was having a bad high". Thats the only way I could describe it so that people could relate. How would anyone understand what feeling "detached" is really like unless you experience it. The next few months really dont need described but I was in and out of hospitals, barely making it through school, and constantly conteplating life, my condition, and suicide.

What I find so strange is that I did not feel the symptoms until a month later. I then looked back in my journals and found another time that I had felt detached but only lasted a few days. That, too, was about one month after I had a horrible experience with weed.

October was horrible, November just as bad, December alittle better, and now January I am slowly feeling myself. I still look in the mirror and am horrified (but not as much as before). I look at my hands and wonder if they are mine. My eyes seem to pulse when shut and i see what seems to be small light flashes at school.
At night I feel alot better then during the day at school. I have been eating pretty good, exercising, taking vitamins, and drinking chamile tea.
I feel significantly better at night then in the day.
For anyone who believes to be marijuana induced:
-are you recovered? do you belive you will be?
-what has helped you?
-any other advice/reaassurance.
Thank you and take care - Alyssa

 

[falling_free]

hello lyssy and welcome to the site

my depersonlisation was also largely marjuwanna induced, though there were a few other factors i beleive that contributed to the condition I have now

are you recovered? do you belive you will be?

No, but ive only had the sympons of this disorder for a year and things have improved somewhat, I think it will take me a while to recover as my dp/dr is quite severe at this point but from what I gather dp/dr is not a life sentence, more a disorder that can be rectified so that a suffeer can revert to a previosu state of normaility.

what has helped you?

Some meds have helped me a bit, but these were not prescribed for dp/dr as such , more for a cannibis induced pycosis, but I would recommed askinga doctor or someone on this site about possible medications that are useful in the treatinjt of the disorder. Also focusing on external world , or being cretaive i find helps somewhat.

any other advice/reaassurance.

you will probably get better, as far as I know lots of people have got rid of dp/dr altoghter, so getting rid of symtons will probably just take time, not a life sentence like scitzophenia. also sounds like you are doing some good things to alieviate dp/dr symptons, exerciseetc etc are only going to make the dp better, actually something i should do more of,

 

[lyssy]

thank you for replying.
i do feel like everyday i can handle more things and i feel more alive. it is scary and i try to keep my anxiety as low as possible. do you know of anyone who has recovered from drug induced dp/dr and how long it took? i am sure it does vary. i was put on lexapro but i actually felt better once i got off of it. im not sure if i want to take any meds just yet and see if in time i get better...

 

[Guest]

What I find so strange is that I did not feel the symptoms until a month later.

Hi and yes, welcome! Just wanted to say, what you wrote above in that quote I pasted, that is VERY common. A rec drug user usually has symptoms show up way past the actual event...and it's usually right there at 3 weeks to 6 weeks after the incident.

That is odd, yes, but it's actually GOOD news because it tells you that it's not any kind of "damage" to the brain at all. What happens is that the person's psychological defenses felt so assaulted during the odd experience that they "Fortify" even harder to try to return things to status quo. It's almost like Post traumatic stress.

it takes weeks for those defenses to do their thing, and fail. That's when the dp enters....it's "only" the psychological makeup that has been unable to reassemble as sense of Normalcy that causes the new horrible feelings. Not brain damage.

That said, I know how terrifying it all is. I do not mean at all to minimize it. Just wanted to reassure you that the implication in it starting well after the fact is a POsitive sign, in the long run.

Janine

 

[lyssy]

Thank you so much for the reaasurance, i know i will feel alot better going to bed tonight with that said. well i guess all i can say is that when this is all over it was a learning experience and i will appreciate normal life alot more than i would have normally. also this has made me want to pursue psychology as my major in college.

 

[Guest]

dp is a slow recovery, and time will either scare you into a worse state, or you can made slow improvements and climb your way back eventually. Or take meds like me.