It was summer 2014, im 16 and smoked weed probaly most days with my friends i had previously been doing every week or so for the past year. until one night, only can describe the worst night of my life, after taking ecstasy and feeling fine I'm had maybe three drags/puffs before i started to become really tired and feeling horrible and feeling like i was falling in and out of sleeps i walked over to a wall to sit down, after 5 mins of sitting down my friends came over, i could not stand let alone get up and walk it off. realising what is happening i had a panic attack causing me to scream for help, i thought i was dying. after about 2/3 mins my friends sat me down i started to feel better and overall reassured, my friend stood me up and i felt as if i was very drunk. we walked to his house and i felt as we went down the same street at least 5 times, this was at night and the streets were poorly lit making it difficult to see, finnaly we got to his and sat down.
Just me and him i began to feel normal again and started eating pasta (very good if you have a strong occurrence of DP/DR) feeling fine we went up to his room and started conversing, not realsing i could not remember what the words i just said, very worrying. i layed there and i said to myself, its over. feeling back to normal and feeling like a complete idiot my friend told me i pratically looked like a moron, unaware of dp i thought it was the ecstasy.
The morning after i could only describe as the worst hangover yet, but relived and pretty shaken up, i went home and thought about last night scared and confused. The later week convinced it was the ecstasy, i smoked weed for the last time. i felt awful again maybe not as bad as i told myself i was fine, things got worse and my hearing went from high pitched to low pitched, it was around 12am and the only solution to get a drink was our local hospital, i walked in there pale and shaking as i got a glass of water i began to freak out finally the receptionist calling an ambulance as my heart was beating fast, getting in the ambulance 10 mins later i felt slightly better but still not normal. they dropped me home, i remember sitting in my room feeling awful, stomach cramps and very sick needless to say i hadn't eaten anything so i was afraid of throwing up.
Between now and then my life has improved refraining my self from weed and excessive amounts of alcohol, i have suffered with high levels of anxiety and depression. below i will list some triggers which make me feel depersonilzed.
Places with large crowds
High levels of sugar (at first, but now im back to eating the same amount as before)
people your not comfortable with
Large amounts of work
Staying up late (before i had a bad sleeping pattern)
After nearly 3 months i can safely say my dp/anxiety is going, have quite bad brain fog, but thats normal at the end of dp/dr according to other forums and websites. after everything that ive been through ive valued life so much more making me a better person, i can say to you now IT WILL GO, think positive live in the moment and be grateful for life.
If your dp/dr gets bad try these
place ice cubes on your hands to reconect with your senses
play extremely loud music you enjoy to feel back with your body
sing a song to yourself
Sport (one of the most important)
Relaxing baths (have one/two everyday)
video games some times good for me
if your a produced try to create your own music
Thank you for reading,
Please ask me any questions you may have.