I had been dealing with Derealization for 21 months and although I am not in my ideal mental situtation I am 99% recovered and most of the time I dont feel it anymore.
I can see the world with the same way ,I feel motivated again and I dont paralyze from existential thoughts.
There are some days I have some moments that remember me DR but they are not scaring me anymore,I dont pay attention to them more than a few seconds and I am pretty sure that are temporary ,so I can be confident.I am pretty sure that even these moments will fade away in the next months.
ABOUT MY RECOVERY :
My recovery journey was so slow with so many
UP and DOWNS from the beginning till the end .
I was getting better
month by month..
I will be lying if I said that it wasnt scaring me but there is no other choice but deal with it and leave with it.In time you will stop fearing it.
I didnt say anything to anyone because they wouldnt understand but 12 months later I started feeling so much pressure and went to a therapist to talk just one time about it.It worked and started feeling better because I realized that it was not so crazy and it was just a difficult period of my life and that's it...
Hanging out with my friends was the best ''medicine'' for me and being honest with my feelings ,processing and dealing with negative thoughts are very important in the recovery...
All this time I had any motivation but I didnt give up and remain disciplined to study,sleeping.
I started working out and eating right and it really helps a lot...
WHAT IT IS :
DP/DR is a temporary condition related to stressful periods of life that last for different amounts of time for different people.
Episodes of DP/DR become less severe and less frequent over time.In time there will be a complete discontinuation of symptoms.
MY SYMPTOMS :
- Strange vision (feeling that a dimension is missing or sth) or snow vision (after 6 month)
- Paralyzed existential thoughts
- Intense anxiety most of the time
- World seems very abstract
- Things doesnt seem real (sky,sun,people) and you feel that something has changed in you
WHAT CAUSED IT :
Weed and social anxiety.My first episode was when I was high in my home and I was paniced and had a really tough week ...
First two months I didn't know what was happening (The scariest period of my life by far) I had the visual stuff with so many dark existential thoughts that were giving me so much anxiety every day.After I found out what this shit was, the next two months I noticed that my episodes were more intense when I was in public.I started realizing that I had some kind of social anxiety and I started challenging myself from this time to be more social and exposure myself to uncomfortable situations.Sometimes it was hard for me and I had a lot of anxiety most of the times but I couldn't sit alone in the home cause that was worse for me.Month by month I gained confidence and I stopped being awkward.
USEFUL ADVICE :
- The most important is to understand the cause of it and being honest with yourself.Find the suppresed emotions and try to challenge and proccess them when you feel ready.
- Dont think the symptoms as something like the devil .Your brain sends you these symptoms to protect you from the negative emotions.You have to feel these emotions consciously once you find them out and always give yourself time.
- Focus on the person you will become after you get through it and dont focus how you feel right now.This happened to you in order to become a better human being and learn to love yourself .
- Dont blame yourself ! This is not your fault...Be kind to yourself.
- Stay away from drugs and keep in mind that if you get drunk you might feel emotionally numb temperarily.
- Some days you feel ok and some other days are more challenging.In challenging days, there is a feeling that your whole recovery is an illusion and you have not improved at all, since the day 1..This is of course not true and you have to remind it to yourself .
- Dont fight the symptoms !!! Dont fight the existential thoughts ,the visual stuff etc.You will feel discouraged and it's a waste of time .These are just symptoms it's not an enemy.Personally,the last months of my recovery I still had the visual stuff some days but I had not any anxiety and it didnt bother me at all.So I didnt focus on it more of 5 seconds.Keep in mind that as your anxiety starts fading away you will not focus on the symptoms any more because you will not be bothered and will be just boring thoughts.
- If your anxiety is very intense ,try to breath slowly from the diaphragm.Meditation helps a lot .
- Remeber sometimes things get worse before they get better, and it is important to never lose the faith that tomorrow will bring healing.
- Try to accept that suffering will ultimately make you a better person .
- Stop wasting time here or any other forum.Once you know what DP/DR is you have to be discipline and protect your mind from catastrophic thinking.
- You will progress month by month not day by day(This is important,so not to lose your faith).
- Try to stop checking it .This is hard at the beginning but in time it's very important .
I promised to myself that when I recover I would share my experience.I consider all of you as my friends.You have the same thoughts I had,the same worries and I am writing these because I wish I had someone to tell me all these things.
Keep being strong and don't let your bad days get you down.
Feel free to contact me if you need any help or have questions.
EMAIL :
[email protected]
