[Guest]

Ok, I really just haven't had the time to write much & also I am only back on here because I am feeling anxious & I guess need comfort - so in a way I am being selfish but also still too wary to type a recovery story.

The last time I had experienced a full draining day of dp/dr was 22 January. I was on a 1/4 of a tablet & hadn't had dp/dr for at least a few months. I thought time to come off the tablets but shit why is it doing this? So after a chat with my mate Janine I figured to hell with it no more pills. So after that I was fine till 1 March. I had had no problems only a few withdrawal things like moodiness, vivid dreams & constipation. But I just started a new job 3 weeks ago & usually I am anxious & get stressed etc. This time nothing, I was cheering. But this week it started, numbness down the side of my body, racing heart, racing mind & about 20 seconds of dp maybe 3 times a day for the last few days.

Let me tell you last night my heart was racing & when i finally did get to sleep I would wake up in a panic with my heart racing & my body on fire full of pins & needles. But I managed to just say just its just anxiety go back to sleep which I did only to be woken up with diarrohea. So it looks like anxiey is settled in as I woke up this morning & overnight have lost a kilo - no dp/dr though.

I am not dp'd at the moment & while I am typing this I feel fine I just had a night of hell, my body was sensitized.

I am not going to write a recovery story as I hardly feel this is how being fully recovered feels. But the last month has been heaven & that was recovery!

But to help you guys on your journey here are some tips. When your mind starts questioning if you feel funny & starts thinking about your body, life & basically not normal stuff. You have to switch off then. You have to tell yourself this is just dp/dr trying to reel me in. If you start the mind games its hard to stop. Persistence is the key. Once you do this its the beginnig of recovery, your mind won't so easily wander down that path again it will be more interested in daily life & you will begin to feel normal.

Yes, your memory will return to normal, you will feel happy again. You won't question if you feel like you did before the illness hit , in fact you'll stop questioning everything. It is like you are a brand new you. Your mind just doesn't want to bother thinking about that stuff, there is too much excitement out there. It is like you start thinking with another part of your brain & I would some days test it out & say remember when you thought you looked funny in the mirror? I'll just laugh & say well I don't feel it anymore I feel connected it must have been the illness.

Well I better go get ready for this blood test. I am checking my health out to see if I am ready for pregnancy. I am so determined to steer clear of the pills & just be normal as I don't want to bring a child into this world with my problems. Ofcourse it may happen but if I can do anythign to prevent it I will.

But I will tell you this, if I seem to be feeling more anxious & getting worse I will go straight back to the psych & see where we go from there as I was doing fine on a small dosage. I just think this week everything cauhgt up on me.

By the way, anyone else out there recovering? How are your journey's going? Is this normal or am I kidding myself?

Hope this helps someone.

 

[Guest]

Charger,

I am VERY happy for your recovery. You deserve it. I am so happy when people recover, it gives hope for everyone.

Thanks for your story!

Don't give up,

Karine (cynthia)

 

[Guest]

Charger,
it gives hope for everyone.

It certainly does

 

[Guest]

Good job charger

 

[Guest]

for me its seems like recovery is right around the corner.... i have searched to find what causes stress and anxiety in my life since im retired and it seems like i have no stress in my life... but i think our body is on alert all the time even when we have good days for the fear of having the dr feelings come back on us... so i think thats the stress for me..since i have had these feelings for 2 years and most of the time 24/7 its like when i am having a good day my body needs to feel anxiety cause thats all it has felt for 2 years... so living without the dr is like coming off heavy meds... we have to re-train our body to be ok living normal and allow our thoughts to be free of fear...this might not make any since to some but this is the way i look at it..Doug

 

[Guest]

Thanks guys! I am feeling much better since I wrote last & I didn't have to pop any pills! I went & had my blood test done & it was a nightmare as she couldn't get blood from one vein & then said "Oh my god! I think I have hit a tendon! I better take it out" so then we tried the other arm & she took 6 vials of blood & needless to say I was feeling quite woozy.

I went shopping with my mother & she was shaking with anxiety cause she was nervous about being with me too. Then later on in the day when we were relaxed & getting to know each other again she tellls me that she has to go have an operation as she has cervical cancer. It was all quite a shock for me as I had been sitting back the last year & hating this woman for deserting me in my hour of need & now she needs me.

So no more anxiety just a little depression. Which I guess is to be expected after experiencing this hiccup & hearing about my mother.

Yes Doug, I can relate to you. It can take years for our mind & body to learn to relax again. I often find that the effects of stress do not hit me when it is a stressful time, they usually show up weeks to months later.

So guys, slowly but surely I am getting there & you will too!