my poor brain has gone apart

i am scared all the time, unless i am preoccupied for seconds at a time to react with other people. during the most difficult times of the day i lose myself, and panic sets in, all the techniques i know (breathing exercises, trying to feel more relaxed) are of no use because i have nothing to cling to. if i decide to feel the panic because i am bored with the dizziness, the panic immediately disappears and i am left with more detachment. i am detached all the time, but terribly when i am nervous, and thats when i need to be able to think. i feel as if i dont exist, i am willing myself to stay sane, when everything else inside my head wants me to go crazy, and leave completely. the question i pose is what will happen if i just stop trying to struggle with it anymore, and just let myself go (in a sense), let whatever is working these symptoms to appear...is insantiy possible, will i embarass myself, and freak out (panic)? or will it alleviate the symptoms quicker?