Last week I went to the NEW specialised dp/dr doctor. WOUHOU I had real faith in him. Janine told me before not to have too much faith, but hey, he was specialised in dp/dr. :shock:
After waiting 1 hour in a psych ward, with weirdo people around me, I was feeling so anxious I thought I would crie or die right away. I felt really crazy. When I finally saw him, he was distant, not warm at all. I entered his office and he kept doing things on his computer. He repeated what I wrote in his questionnaire, about dp/dr. He almost didn't looked at me when I was speaking. Weird for a doc! He gave me a questionnaire about childwood abuse, a silly one (for childs, it seems!) and of course, I answered no to almost all of his questions.
After a long time where I felt I talked to a wall, really, I finally told him I tought it was dp or it looks also like TLE. He looked at me and said that that is his diagnosis : dp OR TLE. He thought that because of my symptoms (feeling like I just missed some hours, time), it felt like epilepsy more than a psychiatric condition. I was astounished. I told him about depression, but he didn't want to talk about it. He said that for him, it was more TLE, and to know really if it's TLE, you have to make 2 kinds of tests, one with something that goes from your nose to your ears (argh) or a surgery, where they literally enter something in your brain, to see electrical activity of the part under your brain that activates TLE. I looked at him very surprised, and he said that for now they TRY meds, to see if it can be TLE. That why he gave me an anti-convulsivant, and told me to try it (w/o blood tests of anything! Just, bang!) and see. I tried to tell him other things, about my delivery, he never cared.
For him, it was physical, not psychological, and didn't want to follow me, because it was physical. I told him about my despair and depression, and he said that TLE can do this.
I ended up with a prescription, a goodbye, and I must return to see my old psychiatrist, because he can't follow me.
I was deceived by his attitude. I thought that maybe, we could do other neurological tests before, you know! It seems it can be many things...
Since then, I have trouble to sleep, I always have this on my mind. On the w/e I had another real confusion/disorientation episode, where I just lost it 2 seconds. I woke up
wondering where I was. I did it to me some days, when I changed benzos. But I hate that!
Now I am only with Klono. And I just wonder, if I had epilepsy, why Klono (anti-epileptic) never never helped my dp/dr condition, and at higher doses, I just felt more confused and away?
That was my journey. :shock:
(BTW I was Sam3456, I am now under my real nickname, Allure30, sorry for the multiple personalities!