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My greatest fear...

7507 Views 28 Replies 15 Participants Last post by  ?real?ity?
Endlessness.
The endlessness of the physical. The fact that "things" have to expand in some form forever
..take a moment and IMAGINE IT, going on forever and ever, eventually you're going to make your mind put an end to things, but if you've done it long enough, your heart is probably pounding like mine..

This and:
The prospect of an afterlife. Endlessness of yourself or the existence of a "soul."

I find the notion of God to be pretty ridiculous, but a "tier-together" of everything, a sort of "spiritual undercurrent" seems sort of feasible.

I'm terrified of an afterlife that NEVER ends. The thought of having a soul is terrifying. If I have one, I want it to have the ability to die. Which kind of runs again the whole idea of a soul? I can't believe people COMFORT themselves with the idea.

Imagine NEVER BEING ABLE TO DIE. It would be torture. People can't conceive of the horror of it because they see an end to everything. Similar to the idea of God - they have to have a creator because they see creation. And in most cases, they see this creator in the form of a man. Almighty cloudman.

As long as I can remember, I've thought of things this way. I remember when we read whateverthehellthatbookwas with the Fountain of Youth in elementary school we were asked if we would drink from it. All the little kids wanted to find it. I was like... FUCK if this really existed I would NEVER go near another drinking fountain again. I was the only kid in my class who wouldn't even THINK of drinking for eternal earthly existence.

ETERNITY. No matter how happy a person's life is, it still sounds maddening, terrifying, horrible. Everyone is scared of Hell, but eventually, in an eternal and endless state, you'd FEEL the flames of Hell.
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I understand about these deep fears that control your (our) lives. I feel like I have all of the tools to live a happy life, I just can't get these paranoias out of my mind. I can't have blind faith that there is an all just God, who loves me. I wonder how anybody can?? I guess I have always been a skeptic, I wish I could just believe and lead a "normal" life, worrying about such petty things as boyfriends, or how my hair looks. (how ridiculous!) I just turned 24, but I feel like im 80...maybe my "soul" has been around for way too long, but whoever said life is short obviously didn't have dp!!

I too felt like i had discovered a universal truth, when my dp hit, that my whole existence was conjured up. I figured since i finally "solved the puzzle," God was going to take me from this life. I waited casually to die...sat back on my next flight and waited for it to plunge into the earth. But nothing happened. I'm still "alive" in the physical sense, so it leads me to believe that I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. I have no answers, and it absolutely floors me that some people can go through life without thinking about these things. I can't continue, unless I know where I came from...it makes me wonder why life is designed this way.
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