I understand about these deep fears that control your (our) lives. I feel like I have all of the tools to live a happy life, I just can't get these paranoias out of my mind. I can't have blind faith that there is an all just God, who loves me. I wonder how anybody can?? I guess I have always been a skeptic, I wish I could just believe and lead a "normal" life, worrying about such petty things as boyfriends, or how my hair looks. (how ridiculous!) I just turned 24, but I feel like im 80...maybe my "soul" has been around for way too long, but whoever said life is short obviously didn't have dp!!
I too felt like i had discovered a universal truth, when my dp hit, that my whole existence was conjured up. I figured since i finally "solved the puzzle," God was going to take me from this life. I waited casually to die...sat back on my next flight and waited for it to plunge into the earth. But nothing happened. I'm still "alive" in the physical sense, so it leads me to believe that I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. I have no answers, and it absolutely floors me that some people can go through life without thinking about these things. I can't continue, unless I know where I came from...it makes me wonder why life is designed this way.
I too felt like i had discovered a universal truth, when my dp hit, that my whole existence was conjured up. I figured since i finally "solved the puzzle," God was going to take me from this life. I waited casually to die...sat back on my next flight and waited for it to plunge into the earth. But nothing happened. I'm still "alive" in the physical sense, so it leads me to believe that I have no fucking clue what I'm talking about. I have no answers, and it absolutely floors me that some people can go through life without thinking about these things. I can't continue, unless I know where I came from...it makes me wonder why life is designed this way.