This is my greatest fear also and the cause of my DP. Endlessness, God, infinity, whatever you want to call it. This is what I was thinking about when my DP hit. If I believed I would cease to exist when this body dies I would kill myself in a second. But it's the fear of living forever in a worse place that keeps me alive in this hell.
My greatest fear...
Endlessness.
The endlessness of the physical. The fact that "things" have to expand in some form forever
..take a moment and IMAGINE IT, going on forever and ever, eventually you're going to make your mind put an end to things, but if you've done it long enough, your heart is probably pounding like mine..
This and:
The prospect of an afterlife. Endlessness of yourself or the existence of a "soul."
I find the notion of God to be pretty ridiculous, but a "tier-together" of everything, a sort of "spiritual undercurrent" seems sort of feasible.
I'm terrified of an afterlife that NEVER ends. The thought of having a soul is terrifying. If I have one, I want it to have the ability to die. Which kind of runs again the whole idea of a soul? I can't believe people COMFORT themselves with the idea.
Imagine NEVER BEING ABLE TO DIE. It would be torture. People can't conceive of the horror of it because they see an end to everything. Similar to the idea of God - they have to have a creator because they see creation. And in most cases, they see this creator in the form of a man. Almighty cloudman.
As long as I can remember, I've thought of things this way. I remember when we read whateverthehellthatbookwas with the Fountain of Youth in elementary school we were asked if we would drink from it. All the little kids wanted to find it. I was like... FUCK if this really existed I would NEVER go near another drinking fountain again. I was the only kid in my class who wouldn't even THINK of drinking for eternal earthly existence.
ETERNITY. No matter how happy a person's life is, it still sounds maddening, terrifying, horrible. Everyone is scared of Hell, but eventually, in an eternal and endless state, you'd FEEL the flames of Hell.
The endlessness of the physical. The fact that "things" have to expand in some form forever
..take a moment and IMAGINE IT, going on forever and ever, eventually you're going to make your mind put an end to things, but if you've done it long enough, your heart is probably pounding like mine..
This and:
The prospect of an afterlife. Endlessness of yourself or the existence of a "soul."
I find the notion of God to be pretty ridiculous, but a "tier-together" of everything, a sort of "spiritual undercurrent" seems sort of feasible.
I'm terrified of an afterlife that NEVER ends. The thought of having a soul is terrifying. If I have one, I want it to have the ability to die. Which kind of runs again the whole idea of a soul? I can't believe people COMFORT themselves with the idea.
Imagine NEVER BEING ABLE TO DIE. It would be torture. People can't conceive of the horror of it because they see an end to everything. Similar to the idea of God - they have to have a creator because they see creation. And in most cases, they see this creator in the form of a man. Almighty cloudman.
As long as I can remember, I've thought of things this way. I remember when we read whateverthehellthatbookwas with the Fountain of Youth in elementary school we were asked if we would drink from it. All the little kids wanted to find it. I was like... FUCK if this really existed I would NEVER go near another drinking fountain again. I was the only kid in my class who wouldn't even THINK of drinking for eternal earthly existence.
ETERNITY. No matter how happy a person's life is, it still sounds maddening, terrifying, horrible. Everyone is scared of Hell, but eventually, in an eternal and endless state, you'd FEEL the flames of Hell.
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Thanks. I need a better pic, can't wait til I get myself a digital camera.
So how do you guys deal with this? It is a constant fear for me and it's like even when I'm not thinking about it... it's there. I can't control it. I'm so scared... I have to fight back tears in a bathroom stall at work. I am so miserable. I don't know how I get through the day. How the hell do you get rid of something like this?
1 - 3 of 29 Posts
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