[Guest]

My God I feel horrible. I don't know if it's Paxil (3 weeks) or Klonopin or Lamictal (2 weeks), but today I feel strange, not like usual, but I feel not myself and very anxious!!! I cry because I feel very strange, I can't describe it! It's like I am going far way from me, who I was, I am so scared. So scared and I have no help.

Usually Klono do the trick, but now it doesn't. And sleep pills always calm in total panick but now I prefer not to take it because of all my other pills.

I hate that I feel so wired!!!! I have less memory than before!!! I don't know if I am better or worse with Paxil and Lamictal, It's just different.... I HATE not to know if I am better or worse!!!

What should I do? I don't want to stop Lamictal because I won't have any hope anymore.... but I don't know it Lamictal makes me worse about mood.... I don't know...

I feel just good when I take a sleep pill, the morning after, I feel relax.

Sorry about meds, but I feel like I am going crazy! Lamictal is suppoed to calm down, no?

C xxx

 

[Guest]

then maybe you should stop takin so many meds... talk to a doctor about this, i mean have some common sense if its making you feel worst then stop using it, dont rely on medication all the time

 

[pfpc]

Hi Cyn,

Sorry you are feeling so badly. You know sometimes it's hard to define whether it's the meds doing something to you or just the variability of the dp/dr condition. I know myself that until I found something to stabilize me, I always would blame the meds for a change in condition.

Also, sometimes the meds stop working or change their effectiveness. I know from my own experience that Klono stopped working for me after a time and I felt worse than before. The same happened with Abilify. So you should also be aware of that.

It's seems like a crazy, mixed up set of variables, so be brave, and try to identify what is causing you to feel so badly. I know it's hard, but a good honest talk with your psych might help calm you and redefine the direction you want to take both psychologically and pharmacologically.

P.

 

[Phill]

Hi Cynthia, I'm not going to add anything new but i second what Vainglory said.

 

[Guest]

Thanks,

It's really hard these days. I feel like I have no energy anymore. I don't want to play with my kid at all. I dont know why I am like that.

C

 

[Guest]

I am so afraid.... I am afraid to become crazy. I feel less myself, infact I don't know how I am anymore. The old fear that a psychiatrist tells me I am schizophrenic returns in my head.

I am afraid thatmy meds will make me crazy. But without AD and anti-anxiety, I feel worse, but sometimes, I have glimpses of myself. But I can't do anything. Now I can go out, but I feel like a robot. I feel strange, I just can pinpoint my problem. All seems strange.

I hate to think that I will never be the old me. It's so far away!! I don't know who I am anymore. After my delivery I could think of who I was when I closed my eyes. Now it's far far away, like a memory, very vague.

If someone can cheer me up, do!

C

 

[Guest]

so you feel like a dp'd zombie, the dp is still there, just all the meds are takin away some of your anxiety and depression, i figure its better to deal with anxiety by self therapy instead poppin pills to suppress your problems, Its like the diet pills that make your fat cells shrink but theyre still there

 

[gem]

Cynthia, it is frightening what you are going through, I understand completely. You will not go crazy. Sometimes we all need help and that help can mean needing medications to get you through a difficult time. It does not mean you are weak when you need help this way. Medications when used properly can be very helpful and have helped many people. It can be easy for some to say do this without medications, it is not that easy. We all suffer in a different way what may help for one may not help another. I myself do not use much medication but I will admit that the medication at one point in my life helped me alot. I was able to relax and collect my thoughts to look at how I would deal with a major trauma in my life. Living with dp/dr is a horrible thing to live in and like the old saying goes, walk a mile in my shoes. I am certain that if some people walked in my shoes for just one day that would understand how we feel when we say it is like our soul has disappeared. Don't give up, be kind to yourself. Do things that help you feel better. You will be okay. Some day you will be able to look back and say it was a rough time in my life, but I am going to be okay. The mind is powerful, this illness is powerful but always remember to never give up hope that some day we will all feel well again. Take care.

gem.