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Discussion Starter · #1 ·
My dear friend of many years now tells me that for the last 24 years or so he's suffered from DR/DP. It started from a bad drug trip taken when we were in high school together. He told me his story at length and I've since read many of your stories on this web site. His story is exactly like yours. It is a daily struggle for him, which he has concealed for over half his life. He has sought out help, but the medical/psychological community is clearly not able to address this condition. At first, he was scared out of his wits. He just wanted it to go away. He was very afraid of appearing crazy. He kept it hidden from everyone. He lived alone, very, very alone.

This web site has helped him understand his situation much better, and it allows others not inflicted to empathize, myself included. In fact, I am amazed at what you all are going through, which may be a permanent condition.

Anxiety and stress is clearly not good. In fact, a stressful episode seems to have permanently aggravated his condition. This is not good. He now tells me that before the aggravation, he did not think he could handle this condition if it got any worse. Unfortunately it did. Yet he still thrives.

Hearing his story and reading your stories has been shocking and tearful for me. I find myself amazed at what he and you all are going through. I wish you all peace and serenity.

Obviously, this is a very scary condition. Nobody here says this "spaced out" feeling provides them with any comfort. On the other hand it appears that worrying about the condition is worse than the actual condition. You feel stoned all the time. Well, feeling stoned is actually something that people seek out to achieve through drugs and alcohol. The problem you folks have is that you never come down, and that is horrific.

After several years as a young man, my friend somehow came to realize he had to live with this condition. I am amazed at what he has accomplished.

Despite this condition, my friend is highly functional. He is intelligent and passionate about many things. He is successful in business and good at what he does. He has deep, meaningful, friendships and relationships.... although he and I both suspect that the DP/DR may keep him from settling down and starting a family. But nevertheless, he is a wonderful friend to many of us in "our group". He is very close and loving with his own family.

I assure you that for the years and years that he has suffered with a bad case of DP/DR, none of us (his friends) would have ever suspected that there was anything wrong. Although he felt different and strange, none of us ever knew. In fact, he was always admired by his friends, and still is. Chances are, your friends and family don't suspect anything either. That's not to say you shouldn't confide in someone close to you. I think you should tell someone who is close to you and you should share this web site with them. Perhaps they will be as understanding as I have and you will have a new source of strength to help you with this condition.

My friend is my "NEW HERO". I'm very impressed at how he has overcome and learned to live with such a strange condition. My new nickname for him is the "Tinman". You know, from the Wizard of Oz. As you know, the Tinman did not have a heart and he claims he could not feel love. He could not feel anything, yet as we all know, the Tinman showed enormous love through his actions. My friend is the Tinman.

My friend claims, hypothetically, that if one of our circle of friends were to die, he would not feel anything. It bothers him. He thinks that if someone close to him were to die, he would not feel sad, because he is always numb. I think he feels a little guilty about his lack of feeling. Like the Tinman, my friend has angst about feeling numb. Yet just like the Tinman, he could not be a better friend through his words and deeds. He is generous, and thoughtful. He is kind and compassionate, despite his claim that he lacks feeling.

He is genuinely the best friend a person could have and I am glad he's my friend too.

I urge you all to follow his lead. Do what you must to find help with your condition. Seek out medications and therapies, if you must. But whatever your mental state may be; whatever amount of clarity you have or do not have, please try to live in the moment. Do your best to relax and accept.

Try to live the best life you can in whatever "state of mind" you possess.

With affection to you all,

A friend of a sufferer.
 

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Thank you for taking the time to write those words.
It warmths my heart to hear what you have said here, truelly.

You friend is lucky to have you aside him for sure, take care of him.

Thank you.
 
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Discussion Starter · #4 ·
I wished someone wrote this for me! It's great that you understand how much we can suffer. You have a big heart. let's hope many other people think the same!

Thanks.

Allure
 
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Discussion Starter · #5 ·
Thank you. Thank you. Thank you. You are a great friend, and I will always remember your kind words. I have lived with this condition for twenty-four years, and at age 40, I can honestly say that I have lived a good life. family and friends are an important connection to reality. Cherish them and your memories with them. Accept this condition and live. This is the choice I made a long time ago, and it has been the "magic pill" you are all curently seeking. Ease your mind and live.

Thank you my great friend, for your thoughts and compassion.

Tinman
 

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hi tinman

glad to hear you found a way to live your life :)
 
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