Discussion Starter · #1 · (Edited by Moderator)
Hello everyone, my name is Ivan. I'm 17 years old, and I've posted on this forum many times. My OCD first manifested when I was 14: I was going through a particularly rough time in my life, but the compulsions were quite innocent and I wasn't even aware of them. Last year, my OCD exploded.. I started having intrusive thoughts about my sexuality, which I managed to defeat by myself (woo-hoo!). Last summer, however, I began feeling strange...like I wasn't in my body anymore, like I was some type of ghost roaming around in this big big world. I became depersonalized, and with depersonalization came the existential thoughts. I started seeing a therapist, because I couldn't deal with them anymore. So far, I've had my ups and downs.. but the thoughts come back somehow. I'm exhausted, it all feels like an endless fight.. I can't enjoy my life anymore, because, what even is the point of all this? If everything could be fake, if everyone isn't really conscious and this reality is just a big simulation.. How do I accept that it could be true and move on? How do I get over solipsism and get my true mind back?