Yesturday morning my father passed away at 58 years old.
The news rendered me still.
shocked, i am still shocked. i can't even think about my own depression, my own anxiety, my own dp, my own dr. all i can think about is nothing really.
Im not saying nothing in a bad way.
ive realized a lot with dp, and dr.
its like a super power, thats too super for our minds to fathom, but I'm sure some of us get peaks at its power.
the power I'm talking about, is the way we view the world, our deep empathy, our deep emotive ways, even though we convince ourselves we lack there of.
Im in the most raw form I've ever been in life.
I cried a lot, i can't really cry now, but I'm gonna let that be normal.
It seems unreal, yes its unreal under the film of dr's lack of reality. so its double unreal.
i just wanted to share a post i put up on Facebook.
i love everyone on this site with my heart.
But there was no need to be ashamed of tears, for tears bore witness that a man had the greatest of courage, the courage to suffer. - i think this is very important for people to acknowledge. Underneath our everyday interactions we are raw. i know that i am raw, more times than not, its not easy being raw, but i believe that because i am aware of it, its a step towards understanding a lot about who i am. a lot of times i would tell my dad, "i dont know who i am, I'm scared ill never find out" and he would tell me, look isaac nobody knows who they really are, you never really find out, but thats the beauty, the beauty in getting to know oneself. In dark times I've had, my dad has always had some sort of thing to say that just felt so right, even though i wouldn't show my dad my acknowledgment sometimes, but after reflection the idea would stare me right in the face. I'm not posting this to get likes, or to get attention, I'm just posting this because i know people out there have lost, and part of life is losing, which is something that i will have to learn in a whole lifetime. I just want to share my thoughts. thats all.